hogwrites | I'll cover you

"My brother's got one of them lined up. Arranged marriage. I was supposed to have one, but my family and I-- Well, you know. They think they kicked me out, I claim I walked out. Same end result." A much happier life, he'd say. He shrugged, knowing that it wasn't a rarity. In their community, it was rare that anyone was out and proud and had family support. Of course, his family would have never supported him no matter what anyway, but that was a different issue.

"I think it's rubbish. It's like Valentine's day, just a way to make a lot of money and sell flowers. If I want to give you flowers, I'll just steal some from the park." He looked Remus over, considering it. "You got a favourite flower?"

"Not much of a flower bloke, I always prefer to get chocolates. I say as if I have ever gotten any." Remus never really dated. It had always been so complicated and when he finally wanted to try, it was mostly casual sex and he... he wasn't able to do that. He'd been trying, the last few years, to live his gay life and try to get somewhere with it but so far, no luck. He probably would have better odds with girls, at least he could meet them in a tradition way instead of underground code words and dodgy bars.

He finished off his bar of chocolate and tossed the wrapper in the little bin on the side before he looked at Sirius. "Bet you ain't short of flowers and chocolates." Wait. His eyes widened a second as he realised he was definitely hitting on him. Fuck, well, time to own it. "Just saying."

"Used to get lots of 'em back at school. Not so much now, but I'm sure I can scrape some together to buy you pralines." Sad story of the smart bloke who never got any chocolates from anyone. Time to change things for him a little. He could tell he was shy and clearly not used to this - not that he could blame him. There were so many dangers, intolerance, a whole song and dance to perform just to make sure.

Sirius reached for Remus's hand and held it, just for a few seconds. So he'd know to be sure. "We should get off next stop. Easier to get to King's Cross from there."

"I'll bet, mate. I don't care about quality, I'll eat anything sweet." Rejection would always be painful and this bloke, he seemed like a good one, he hoped he didn't feel too put out when Remus confessed and he could keep these memories as happy as he could. In an ideal world, topsy-turvey to this one entirely, he would have loved to pursue a bloke like that. To the bitter fucking end. But everything about him was a deal breaker. Even if, for some weird reason, he was fine with the trans thing, he would not be fine with the AIDs thing.

He smiled sadly at Sirius but he nodded, ready to get off and find his way back. Somehow. Maybe he could get some pity change and use the vending machines for a snack. The train announced they were pulling in and Remus stood up, grabbing his shoulder bag and pulling it on, walking towards the door. "So King's Cross is near the pub? Does it get a lot of trains run by or what? For going home and all." He had to go at some point so it was easy to ask. Casual like.

"I mean, yeah. Right by King's Cross, so everything goes through there. Or you gotta make it back over to Euston, I guess." Sirius shrugged, leaning against the wall close to the train's doors as it pulled into the station. "Though you've got nowhere to be, so don't stress about it. Nice bloke like you on a night out in London? Whole world might open up for you yet."

He winked again, because why not? And then he grabbed Remus's hand to tug him along as they got off the train. He kept a hold of his hand, never one to be shy whatsoever. In any way. "Are you hungry? Pub's gonna be busy, so we might be better off grabbing something on the way there."

Holding a blokes hand was a dream come true. He idly wondered if it was something he could have and if it was okay to just use this guy to have a fun night where he pretended nothing was wrong but no, it was deceptive. He was a liar if he did that. Remus waited for the crowd to thin and for them to be mostly alone as they left the platform before he pulled his hand away and paused, turning to Sirius.

"You're a nice bloke, mate. I really like it. The fact that you're even fucking hitting on me, it made my day. Didn't think I could pull a bloke like you." Remus smiled awkwardly and then crossed his arms. "I gotta be honest with you though - we can't do this. I can't do this. It ain't right."

Wait, that sounded homophobic. He caught himself and then held up his hands. "Not like that. Bugger, sorry, I just --" He ruffled his hair and then looked at Sirius, exhaling. "I got AIDs. So, uh, yeah."

Sirius stopped when Remus paused, turning to look at him. He'd rather liked holding his hand, so it felt strange not to now. He frowned at him at his explanation, mostly concerned that he had stumbled upon someone terribly repressed who had a religious upbringing or whatever. He actually had to smile when Remus corrected himself, although he turned serious again at his actual explanation.

Had to handle this right. He knew to expect something like it, of course. These days, in the circles he ran in? Hardly his first encounter. Still, he gave a nod. "Gotcha."

Then he held his hand out again. "Is that all? Because neither of us is bleeding and I think we can grab some food safely." He shrugged. "Trust me, darling. Well, the food might be slightly unsafe, but that's what our adventurous spirits are for."

Okay. Well. He took that well. Most people didn't even want to touch him or get near him, he hadn't expect someone to be so cool about it all. His eyes widened very noticeably and he felt like he was on the verge but then the other thing was there and at his point, he could run to a train but he probably couldn't while intoxicated and lost so he just went for it.

"I don't have a dick."

Well. That was one way to come out. He couldn't have picked his words better. "I was --" Remus swayed his head side to side as he debated how to say it. "I was born one way, now I'm another. Is that a deal breaker or like-- I'm starting to wonder what is for you."

"I don't know, mate. If you voted Tory?" Which he strongly assumed Remus didn't, so Sirius wasn't overly worried. "You are a handsome bloke. Stop making me look like I can't pull and take my hand already, I want to get food."

So, no, the other reveal hadn't thrown him much either. "You're too nervous. Relax, Remus. We are young, the night is ours. Want to share some chips? Sorry, mate, I know this stuff is important and all but I'm starving."

He had gotten food at James and Lily's, but James had wanted food to be fancy, befitting the occasion, so the portions had been tiny. Had been a funny joke at the time, but now here he was, ravenous.

"If you don't care, it ain't important. I do my due diligence and I tell people, you know? It's up to them to decide. If they care, I fuck off and if they don't care, neither do I." Remus explained as he took Sirius' hand, kind of pleased that this was all going well cause whatever - he wanted it so bad and he didn't even care if it seemed fake. Like a hallucination or maybe Sirius was in a cult. There had to be a catch but he didn't look for it.

"For the record, you're the first bloke who didn't care. Hence my lack of experience handling-- this." He gestured to their hands and then he smiled. "I'll split chips with you. I only got a tenner on me. I can't afford the train back." He laughed at that, it was funny to him. "But we can get chips with it, might as well."

"Only got a tenner so you're stuck in jolly old London? You are mental, mate, you are." Not that Sirius seemed that bothered by that either. If anything, it assured him that they made a good match. He walked out of the station still holding Remus's hand, not only not caring about any looks they got, but honestly not even registering them. He liked to focus on the parts of the world that mattered. "I can spot you for the chips. And, who knows? Maybe you can just shack up with me tonight."

Didn't seem like the worst idea, given the situation Remus was in. Which made a lot more sense now. "You could probably teach some classes at the centre, you know? They have all kinds of stuff there."

"I keep telling people, I'll fucking teach anywhere. It's just that no one wants me. I can't blame them, I'm a bit of a shitty pick. I'm off work so much these days and I'm naff at lying in the interview. I had a good job but I lost it. The parents thought I was a deviant homosexual spreading my AIDS and propaganda." He wasn't even out, they just assumed. If he had AIDS, he was gay. There was no other option. Just like if he had AIDS, he also had to be sleeping around. A great irony there. Remus smiled at Sirius, kind of relieved to just talk about his life a little and not hide it all. Sirius was so ... so supportive. In a sense. Caring. Actually listening to him. He'd never had that before.

"I'm pretty open where I end up, I'm about to lose my place and I can't move back in with my parents. They worry. They worry so much, always did." He waved his hand in dismissal. "London seems -- seems as good as any to be homeless."

"Don't be daft. Why would you be homeless? I told you, mi casa e su casa." Sirius felt that was making himself clear. He liked Remus so far, he did think he was handsome, so maybe he was going to keep going in that vein. Seduce him. Or maybe they could just be mates, but either way... "We've got to stick together, don't we? Stick it to those wankers. Can't think of a way to piss them off more than just us living our best life."

And he wanted to piss them off. He was so angry at how unfair the world was. "Bet you are a brilliant teacher. I didn't have any teacher with a bum as nice as yours back in school, might have helped my attentiveness."

Or maybe not. Might have been quite distracting. Still.

"I assume it would have hurt your focus more and made the teacher deeply uncomfortable but... well, thank you." Well, he just imagined a teenage boy lusting after him and the horror was palpable. "Bet you were a shit student. I know you type, I can tell by looking at you and how you talk. You were a bit of a clown and got into lots of fights but you did well in class and you never had to try for it."

Well, he had that energy, he just had to assume. He snorted in amusement and shook his head. "I don't care about pissing anyone off. I'd rather not, honestly. It's exhausting. I'm too tired to care." Sometimes he felt like he was a bad gay for not being more active and in-your-face over it but he was just so done with life, he struggled to have the drive to.

"That's the beauty, sweetheart. You don't have to do anything to piss people off. Just be your lovely self." That said, Sirius kissed Remus's cheek and then pulled him along to chippie, ordering for them both. Afterwards, he turned back to Remus and nodded his head. "You've got me figured out, by the way. Described me to a T. All of that and I got the reputation of shagging lots of birds somehow. Never quite figured out where that came from."

He was a flirty bloke, sure, but he'd never gone further than an unfortunate snogging incident with a girl, so he wasn't sure how that had happened.

"I think you just seem like the type. You're very much full of rockstar energy." The look, the rebel attitude, the intentional displays. That kiss, fuck, it was the most he'd ever been kissed and his cheek still tingled from it. "I'd have pegged you for a ladies man, if it weren't for the earring and the book."

He looked him up and down and then shrugged. "I don't pick up blokes but I picked up enough from going out to know a queer when I see one."

Looking inside, he watched them make their chips and waited eagerly. "So tell me what the catch is then. You're handsome and you're being all nice to me and I'm some disease riddled stranger on a train. You in a cult? Recruiting for you church? Cause I know I ain't that handsome."

"Plenty handsome from where I'm standing," Sirius reasoned, looking at Remus and running a finger along the side of his face. He had nice features, even though, yes, he could see the strain of it all on him. "Anyway, you're the one who identified me based on the book I'm reading. Dead sexy, that. Hard to find a bookish queer in Soho, I can tell you that."

He shook his head. "Don't worry. I'm not religious. I just think sometimes people click. I met my best friend on the first day of school, on the train on the way there. Now I'm going to be his best mate. I think sometimes you just know when someone's going to matter to you."

"I don't believe in that sort of thing. Destiny and fate and all that rot but I rather like the idea of the click. I'll take that. I think I'm dead lucky tonight." He started the evening broke, tired and worried and now here he was, in fucking London, getting chips with the hottest bloke in the UK. And he was sure that was accurate.

As Sirius went inside to get their chips, Remus tried his best not to be eager but as soon as he was offered food, he ate a good handful, clearly hungry. Food was at the back of his mind a lot these days, he often skipped meals so now, he was starving.

"Good company. Good chips."

"Good click," Sirius suggested, taking just one chip for himself as he watched Remus kind of wolf it down. Something endearing and attractive about that, honestly. Clearly hungry and that was good to see, given everything he knew now. He grabbed another few chips as he led the way, this time wrapping an arm around Remus. "I really hate being mistaken for hetero, you know? Nightmare, that."

Much better to walk around gaily, he felt. Which, yes, could lead to a lot of fights, but he regarded that a plus, personally. "You still up for the pub? Because we could also just go straight to mine."

"I'm not a big drinker these days, not gonna lie but I don't mind either way. I just want to sit somewhere and kill some time before I go back to reality." Job hunting and rent and all that kind of stuff. His watch started to beep insistently and Remus paused, handing Sirius the chips so he could turn the damn thing off. He pulled out a little box from his inside pocket and pulled out his pills, swallowing them dry. "Sorry, can't forget them or I'm beyond fucked."

He smiled a little, still not sure how comfortable Sirius was with it but he did seem fine. Apparently. For some reason. "If we're broke, we could go to yours. Watch the telly or something."

"Let's go to mine then. I've got some leftovers to heat up, my mate brought them over the other day. He's a cook." And Peter was a good sort, he shared the bounty every now and then, as long as it wasn't food that he cared for too much. Well, some friendship favours were conditional. "I'm not entirely broke, but payday's still a bit off. Got a part in a play, but we are still at rehearsal stage right now." Slow time, money-wise. "You like the theatre? I can get you free tickets, there's that. Can't eat those, but at least you'll starve while entertained."

"Theatre is good, I like it. I haven't been to many but what I have, I liked." He mostly knew the ones from his school trips but given the price of tickets and his parents lacklustre wages, they hadn't exactly been theatre goers. Which was good for Remus in some ways, he was bad at sitting still and the chairs were always garbage, made his back hurt. "If you're gonna be fine with me staying that long, I mean..."

He just didn't get it. He looked at Sirius, a concerned frown. Maybe he was a serial killer. They always said they were charming and manipulative. Then again, being killed by a sexy serial killer did beat a death by AIDS so... whatever.

"Let's see how it goes. But I told you, mate. I believe that sometimes you just meet people that matter." Sirius shrugged his shoulders, pulling Remus just that little bit closer against him as if to reassure him. He understood his apprehension, but in a way that made it easier for him to make his mind up. He certainly didn't feel threatened by Remus in any way. "You worry too much. Stop overthinking. In fact, let's do an exercise. Pretend that you and I have been together for ages. Improvise. Do you know the first rule of improvisation? Always say yes."

He pressed his lips together, then took the empty chip bag and balled it up, tossing it into a bin as they walked past it. "Honey," he said, deciding he was in character now, "We should get curtains for the bedroom."

"God, I'm terrible at this stuff." Remus huffed with a small laugh, watching Sirius toss away the wrapper. He put his hand into his pocket and considered the prompt. "Yeah, we need blackout ones cause the light is fucking me up. I'm unemployed, I have the God given right to lie in and the sun is ruining it for me."

He puffed out his cheeks and huffed, basing his rant on some very real feedback for his own bedroom. "Besides, when you're strutting around in the buff, all our neighbours look over for a little peak."

"Yeah. Seems a shame to deprive them, but given your lack of employment, at the very least they could fork over some money if they want to see the goods. It's a right faggotry corner of the world anyway, bet we could make some profit." Worth considering, especially as he had no idea how much blackout curtains would cost. "I reckon maybe we could get Pete to sneak us some of them rubbish bags from the restaurant. Those might work in a pinch."

And cost a lot less. "Not sure if it's good for a sexy mood, but we'll just have to sacrifice some of our erotic vibes."

I'll cover you

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