"I can't do it like he does." Whatever flip he switched that made him go from gorgeous to irresistible. Turning on the charm, Hartley supposed. He had never managed to do that on purpose, not in any capacity. Even now he was blushing because of what Harry had said about it. "I don't have a body anywhere close to this. Don't be so stingy, Remus. Those nurses have to deal with grumpy patients all day, let them look at your boyfriend for a bit."
Sirius laughed, sticking his tongue out at Harry. "You better not die before you can pick and design a month for that calendar. I know you know what appeals to the poufters."
"Don't we all." Hartley shook his head, then playfully covered Harry's eyes. "Don't fall for him, he's a siren."
"I can resist it, I promise. I only got eyes for you, promise. Though his chest ain't half bad, eh?" Harry joked as he playfully patted Hartley away and leaned forward, kissing the back of his hand and hoping Hartley remembered to wash his hands. They were in a risky place, he didn't want to fuck up. "He is singing the song of my people but look how good I am at resisting. This is the point you praise me for being the best boyfriend."
Remus snorted in amusement and tossed Sirius' shirt at him. "Shirt on or no one here will buy the calendar. Stop giving it away for free."
"Shit." Harry snorted in disbelief and shook his head. "I wanna see that calendar." All twelve months of it for a whole year. He really wanted it. He didn't want to die. He bit his lip and fought back any anger or sadness. "I have ideas."
Laughing, Sirius put his shirt back on, fumbling with a few of the buttons and finally leaving it only halfway unbuttoned. Decent enough. He got his jacket back from Remus and then wrapped his arms around him to kiss him, because he wanted to. Because he loved him and because this was hard.
"You'll see the calendar," Hartley said, insistent. No way of knowing, but he would never accept this. Would always keep fighting. "You are the best boyfriend. You have to keep proving that. That's a lifetime job. We agreed, you're getting better this time. We'll get you out of here."
"That's a grand idea, brill. You can be there when we workshop calendar pages." Wasn't that a fun thing to get out of hospital for? "It's also Remus's first proper Pride. Can't wait to really introduce him to a party."
"You're gonna love it. They play music, you dance, you yell at the straights and then you get wrecked in the evening. There's nothing like it." And he didn't think he would realistically make it to pride but he could pretend. Pretending was fun. He looked at Hartley and smiled at him, wishing he could kiss him properly and take care of him but he was totally out of his depth here. Sick and useless. God, he didn't want Hartley to be alone. "Shit, love, can you, uh, can you go and fetch me a kit-kat cause I'm actually hungry and I have a ridic specific craving."
He didn't, he just wanted Hartley out of the room for a moment, he had to talk to someone about Hartley before he died or no one would know what he wanted.
"Kit-kats are amazing." Remus agreed with a nod of solidarity. "I can't always eat but I can always eat chocolate."
"You better actually eat that kit-kat or I'll force-feed you." Hartley said it in a tone that was much more threatening than caring, but pissed off was often how he conveyed deeper emotions. He gave Harry's shoulder a squeeze and then headed for the door, pausing to look at Remus. "You want something too?"
"Remus always wants chocolate. Go with him, love. Here." Sirius handed Remus his wallet, just in case he was short of coins. Then he watched the two of them leave before pulling up a chair and sitting by Harry's bedside. "Hey, Haz." Well, he assumed he wanted to talk. "He is so gonna make you eat that kit-kat."
"I know, he's gonna force it down me. I won't get the whole thing but I can manage maybe half." And that was being generous. He watched Remus and Hartley through the door until they disappeared and then he looked at Sirius, rubbing at his red, bloodshot eyes. "Can you do me a favour? When I'm gone, keep an eye on Hartley. Don't let him work himself to death over this and make sure he gets out. Goes to pride. Meets people and all that. Cause he's young, he should live for himself and not for me."
He wished he could just be with Hartley but it wasn't looking good and he had to make sure he'd be fine. "I'm so fucked, Sirius. It's bad. It's like -- the doctor talked to me. My immune system barely exists. I got so many things wrong with me, I keep having fits. I wish -- I wish Hartley didn't have to be here. To see it. It's not fair on him."
"I know. I get that, Haz, but it's his choice too. His life. His love. He's there with you because he can't be anywhere else." In hospital or in his lab and barely sleeping. Of course it was taking a toll, but Sirius got it. Him and Remus hadn't been together that long, but of course he'd be doing the same. "Hartley's smart. Smarter than us, for sure. I'm sure he knows."
Knew that it wasn't looking good. Hell, it was kind of obvious. "We'll be there for you and Hartley, all right? I promise. I like him. Hey, and Aziraphale thinks he's a lovely boy. Very polite." Apparently.
"Aziraphale is a shitty judge of character, isn't he?" Harry rolled his eyes and sighed, wishing he knew what to do but he didn't know what else to say or where to put his energy. He just wanted Hartley to be okay. "I watched my dad die in hospital, he died pretty slowly. He got sick. Then he got scepsis. Screaming in agony and fighting to the bitter end. I watched it all and -- I know what it feels like."
And here he was, suffering the same fate. "I wanted to -- to not die here but I don't know if I can put it on Hartley. To die at home." And yet, he selfishly wanted to beg for it still. "Am I a selfish bastard?"
"I mean, you've always been, don't you think?" Sirius smiled a little, showing that he was joking. For the most part, anyway. "Look, if you don't get to be selfish now, then when? And, anyway, does it matter? Whether you are here, at home, on bloody Kilimanjaro, Hartley would be with you. Curl up in a ball on the floor and sleep just so he stays by your side."
It had certainly happened before, so he wasn't exaggerating. "Makes more sense for you to be home. Then he can at least sleep on a bed."
He put a hand on Harry's arm and shrugged. "Honestly, Haz, you're being quite selfless. Wanting him to meet people. I'm way more possessive, I'd threaten to haunt any future boyfriends from the afterlife. Going to poltergeist all over the place."
"Life has to go on, man. For the living. I think about it, you know, dying at my age. There's so much I'm losing. 26... I can't believe it. And he's my age. He has so much life to live. He'll keep living on and I'll be a sad memory." And that sucked a lot but he knew it was a reality that they all had to engage with. He wasn't going to be here for long and he hated it.
"I do hope there's an afterlife or I can be a ghost or something. Sounds quite fun."
Harry laughed and then leaned his head back, exhaling slowly. "I hope hell is fun - lots of fags to meet. I always wanted to meet Freddy Mercury."
"If everything I've ever had yelled at me is true, then all the fun people end up in hell. Sounds like a good place to be." Sirius smirked, then leaned back and sighed. "You've had a good life too, Haz. Think about some of that. The parties I've been at with you - and I know you went to a lot more. Seen you lick shots off some gorgeous blokes."
Had to be said. "And you always stayed yourself. Stuck it to that whole society set and to the straights. Even got yourself a hot and smart boyfriend. It's way too early, yeah, but it's not been a bad life. Not by a long shot. You've left a mark."
"My best memory was meeting Hartley. The way he was so angry, he didn't want to play with me but I fucking made him and -- and he was so cute, in his own way. The way he looked at me. I would trade all the parties and drugs and rock and roll for like... a year more with him. Five more years. A lifetime." Every second with his boyfriend, he cherished it. He never thought he'd be loved and yet, here he was.
"Just make sure your Remus does it too. Lives a good life. He's got the odds against him too and being like Felix is rare, yeah? Just -- make sure he lives how he wants and has a good life." It was the best anyone could do.
"I'll take care of Remus. And we'll take care of Hartley and you. Don't write yourself off too quickly, yeah?" Maybe he'd die tonight. Maybe he'd live. It happened. Either way.
Hartley walked back in without warning, holding a kit-kat and a can of coke. He sat back down in his chair, looking Harry over and opening the kit-kat. "You need to eat something, drink something and then nap for a bit, because I've got to send off another email. Trying to reach people in New York. They all suck."
"I'll eat the damn kitkat. You're so insistent." He took the candy bar and ate it, leaning back and watching Hartley as he nibbled it just a little bit. He loved Hartley, he truly did, he was sure he could pull anything off. "He's so bossy. Is it just me or is it super sexy? ... Probably just me."
Remus laughed as he ate his own chocolate bar, looking at Sirius. "We gotta shake a leg, love. I start work soon."
"Nah, I get it. Mine is bossy too, look at that. He keeps looking at his watch and everything." Sirius rolled his eyes and then got up, holding a hand out for Remus. "Off we go. I'm leaving whatever Aziraphale baked over there, Hartley."
Hartley nodded, while opening the can of coke, hoping he could at least get Harry to take a sip or two. "See you later."
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Sirius laughed, sticking his tongue out at Harry. "You better not die before you can pick and design a month for that calendar. I know you know what appeals to the poufters."
"Don't we all." Hartley shook his head, then playfully covered Harry's eyes. "Don't fall for him, he's a siren."
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Remus snorted in amusement and tossed Sirius' shirt at him. "Shirt on or no one here will buy the calendar. Stop giving it away for free."
"Shit." Harry snorted in disbelief and shook his head. "I wanna see that calendar." All twelve months of it for a whole year. He really wanted it. He didn't want to die. He bit his lip and fought back any anger or sadness. "I have ideas."
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"You'll see the calendar," Hartley said, insistent. No way of knowing, but he would never accept this. Would always keep fighting. "You are the best boyfriend. You have to keep proving that. That's a lifetime job. We agreed, you're getting better this time. We'll get you out of here."
"That's a grand idea, brill. You can be there when we workshop calendar pages." Wasn't that a fun thing to get out of hospital for? "It's also Remus's first proper Pride. Can't wait to really introduce him to a party."
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He didn't, he just wanted Hartley out of the room for a moment, he had to talk to someone about Hartley before he died or no one would know what he wanted.
"Kit-kats are amazing." Remus agreed with a nod of solidarity. "I can't always eat but I can always eat chocolate."
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"Remus always wants chocolate. Go with him, love. Here." Sirius handed Remus his wallet, just in case he was short of coins. Then he watched the two of them leave before pulling up a chair and sitting by Harry's bedside. "Hey, Haz." Well, he assumed he wanted to talk. "He is so gonna make you eat that kit-kat."
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He wished he could just be with Hartley but it wasn't looking good and he had to make sure he'd be fine. "I'm so fucked, Sirius. It's bad. It's like -- the doctor talked to me. My immune system barely exists. I got so many things wrong with me, I keep having fits. I wish -- I wish Hartley didn't have to be here. To see it. It's not fair on him."
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Knew that it wasn't looking good. Hell, it was kind of obvious. "We'll be there for you and Hartley, all right? I promise. I like him. Hey, and Aziraphale thinks he's a lovely boy. Very polite." Apparently.
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And here he was, suffering the same fate. "I wanted to -- to not die here but I don't know if I can put it on Hartley. To die at home." And yet, he selfishly wanted to beg for it still. "Am I a selfish bastard?"
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It had certainly happened before, so he wasn't exaggerating. "Makes more sense for you to be home. Then he can at least sleep on a bed."
He put a hand on Harry's arm and shrugged. "Honestly, Haz, you're being quite selfless. Wanting him to meet people. I'm way more possessive, I'd threaten to haunt any future boyfriends from the afterlife. Going to poltergeist all over the place."
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"I do hope there's an afterlife or I can be a ghost or something. Sounds quite fun."
Harry laughed and then leaned his head back, exhaling slowly. "I hope hell is fun - lots of fags to meet. I always wanted to meet Freddy Mercury."
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Had to be said. "And you always stayed yourself. Stuck it to that whole society set and to the straights. Even got yourself a hot and smart boyfriend. It's way too early, yeah, but it's not been a bad life. Not by a long shot. You've left a mark."
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"Just make sure your Remus does it too. Lives a good life. He's got the odds against him too and being like Felix is rare, yeah? Just -- make sure he lives how he wants and has a good life." It was the best anyone could do.
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"I'll take care of Remus. And we'll take care of Hartley and you. Don't write yourself off too quickly, yeah?" Maybe he'd die tonight. Maybe he'd live. It happened. Either way.
Hartley walked back in without warning, holding a kit-kat and a can of coke. He sat back down in his chair, looking Harry over and opening the kit-kat. "You need to eat something, drink something and then nap for a bit, because I've got to send off another email. Trying to reach people in New York. They all suck."
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Remus laughed as he ate his own chocolate bar, looking at Sirius. "We gotta shake a leg, love. I start work soon."
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Hartley nodded, while opening the can of coke, hoping he could at least get Harry to take a sip or two. "See you later."