"Aziraphale is a shitty judge of character, isn't he?" Harry rolled his eyes and sighed, wishing he knew what to do but he didn't know what else to say or where to put his energy. He just wanted Hartley to be okay. "I watched my dad die in hospital, he died pretty slowly. He got sick. Then he got scepsis. Screaming in agony and fighting to the bitter end. I watched it all and -- I know what it feels like."
And here he was, suffering the same fate. "I wanted to -- to not die here but I don't know if I can put it on Hartley. To die at home." And yet, he selfishly wanted to beg for it still. "Am I a selfish bastard?"
"I mean, you've always been, don't you think?" Sirius smiled a little, showing that he was joking. For the most part, anyway. "Look, if you don't get to be selfish now, then when? And, anyway, does it matter? Whether you are here, at home, on bloody Kilimanjaro, Hartley would be with you. Curl up in a ball on the floor and sleep just so he stays by your side."
It had certainly happened before, so he wasn't exaggerating. "Makes more sense for you to be home. Then he can at least sleep on a bed."
He put a hand on Harry's arm and shrugged. "Honestly, Haz, you're being quite selfless. Wanting him to meet people. I'm way more possessive, I'd threaten to haunt any future boyfriends from the afterlife. Going to poltergeist all over the place."
"Life has to go on, man. For the living. I think about it, you know, dying at my age. There's so much I'm losing. 26... I can't believe it. And he's my age. He has so much life to live. He'll keep living on and I'll be a sad memory." And that sucked a lot but he knew it was a reality that they all had to engage with. He wasn't going to be here for long and he hated it.
"I do hope there's an afterlife or I can be a ghost or something. Sounds quite fun."
Harry laughed and then leaned his head back, exhaling slowly. "I hope hell is fun - lots of fags to meet. I always wanted to meet Freddy Mercury."
"If everything I've ever had yelled at me is true, then all the fun people end up in hell. Sounds like a good place to be." Sirius smirked, then leaned back and sighed. "You've had a good life too, Haz. Think about some of that. The parties I've been at with you - and I know you went to a lot more. Seen you lick shots off some gorgeous blokes."
Had to be said. "And you always stayed yourself. Stuck it to that whole society set and to the straights. Even got yourself a hot and smart boyfriend. It's way too early, yeah, but it's not been a bad life. Not by a long shot. You've left a mark."
"My best memory was meeting Hartley. The way he was so angry, he didn't want to play with me but I fucking made him and -- and he was so cute, in his own way. The way he looked at me. I would trade all the parties and drugs and rock and roll for like... a year more with him. Five more years. A lifetime." Every second with his boyfriend, he cherished it. He never thought he'd be loved and yet, here he was.
"Just make sure your Remus does it too. Lives a good life. He's got the odds against him too and being like Felix is rare, yeah? Just -- make sure he lives how he wants and has a good life." It was the best anyone could do.
"Hartley and you have got something special. I've never seen you be soft with anyone. Or sweet." But he always was with Hartley, in their own way. Adored him, clearly. "It's what matters most. To love and be loved in return." Maybe it was a cliché, but Sirius certainly felt it was true.
"I'll take care of Remus. And we'll take care of Hartley and you. Don't write yourself off too quickly, yeah?" Maybe he'd die tonight. Maybe he'd live. It happened. Either way.
Hartley walked back in without warning, holding a kit-kat and a can of coke. He sat back down in his chair, looking Harry over and opening the kit-kat. "You need to eat something, drink something and then nap for a bit, because I've got to send off another email. Trying to reach people in New York. They all suck."
"I'll eat the damn kitkat. You're so insistent." He took the candy bar and ate it, leaning back and watching Hartley as he nibbled it just a little bit. He loved Hartley, he truly did, he was sure he could pull anything off. "He's so bossy. Is it just me or is it super sexy? ... Probably just me."
Remus laughed as he ate his own chocolate bar, looking at Sirius. "We gotta shake a leg, love. I start work soon."
"Nah, I get it. Mine is bossy too, look at that. He keeps looking at his watch and everything." Sirius rolled his eyes and then got up, holding a hand out for Remus. "Off we go. I'm leaving whatever Aziraphale baked over there, Hartley."
Hartley nodded, while opening the can of coke, hoping he could at least get Harry to take a sip or two. "See you later."
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And here he was, suffering the same fate. "I wanted to -- to not die here but I don't know if I can put it on Hartley. To die at home." And yet, he selfishly wanted to beg for it still. "Am I a selfish bastard?"
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It had certainly happened before, so he wasn't exaggerating. "Makes more sense for you to be home. Then he can at least sleep on a bed."
He put a hand on Harry's arm and shrugged. "Honestly, Haz, you're being quite selfless. Wanting him to meet people. I'm way more possessive, I'd threaten to haunt any future boyfriends from the afterlife. Going to poltergeist all over the place."
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"I do hope there's an afterlife or I can be a ghost or something. Sounds quite fun."
Harry laughed and then leaned his head back, exhaling slowly. "I hope hell is fun - lots of fags to meet. I always wanted to meet Freddy Mercury."
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Had to be said. "And you always stayed yourself. Stuck it to that whole society set and to the straights. Even got yourself a hot and smart boyfriend. It's way too early, yeah, but it's not been a bad life. Not by a long shot. You've left a mark."
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"Just make sure your Remus does it too. Lives a good life. He's got the odds against him too and being like Felix is rare, yeah? Just -- make sure he lives how he wants and has a good life." It was the best anyone could do.
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"I'll take care of Remus. And we'll take care of Hartley and you. Don't write yourself off too quickly, yeah?" Maybe he'd die tonight. Maybe he'd live. It happened. Either way.
Hartley walked back in without warning, holding a kit-kat and a can of coke. He sat back down in his chair, looking Harry over and opening the kit-kat. "You need to eat something, drink something and then nap for a bit, because I've got to send off another email. Trying to reach people in New York. They all suck."
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Remus laughed as he ate his own chocolate bar, looking at Sirius. "We gotta shake a leg, love. I start work soon."
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Hartley nodded, while opening the can of coke, hoping he could at least get Harry to take a sip or two. "See you later."