hogwrites | Raising Harry

Harry lay in bed for a few moments to just absorb everything that had happened. He wasn't back under the stairs so it was definitely not a dream... so what was it? His dad was a wizard, he was with his Godfather and he ate pizza in a cool new house he belonged it! It was like a fantasy he'd make up in his head but it was so very real.

And he had to do everything he could not to mess it up. Hence why he was pulling himself out of bed already, eager to try and make Sirius some food. He could show him how well he worked and then Sirius would have to want to keep him.

Toddling through the hall, he paused in front of Sirius' door and looked at it, wondering if he was allowed in. Sirius said so but he didn't want to make the wrong move... in the end, he did it. He pushed the door open and peered in to find --

Well, not Sirius.

That was a very big and very scary looking dog. With a small whimper, Harry stared and wondered where his Godfather was. Did it eat him?! Oh no, what if his Godfather was eaten?!

Sirius steered, his senses always excellent in this form. He blinked his eyes open and rolled around, looking at Harry. Then he realised that he was a dog and that that was bound to be confusing Harry. So, since he wasn't sure what else to do, he wagged his tail and tried to look sweet, hoping it would reassure him. Then he shifted, from the big, black, fluffy dog to a man, wearing the same pyjamas Harry was wearing, just bigger.

"It's me, Harry! Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." And he knew that he probably had. Damn it, here he was finally not looking like a deranged madman before and he sprung this on the boy. "...you saw me do this when you were little. You loved it then."

"... You were a dog." How did he do that? Harry hid a little behind the doorframe, a little shocked but very fascinated. After all, he was James and Lily's son - fear came second to fascination. With wide eyes, he went from fear to happiness. He trusted Sirius, trusted him more than anyone in this world, even if it had only been a day. "You're a big dog. You're like a wolf! ... Are you a werewolf?"

He wasn't sure what one was but Dudley dressed as one for Halloween when they were four. "You're very fluffy." Looking up at Sirius with a tentative smile, he finally looked at him and felt weirdly excited. He didn't look so scary now! He looked like a nice man. "You shaved."

"Come here, Harry." Sirius held a hand out to him, still on the bed. Maybe they could cuddle a little. What was wrong with some cuddling? "When you were little, like, really tiny, I'd always curl up on the floor next to you and you'd play with my fur. You were always sweet and gentle, you didn't pull."

Such a cute baby he had been. And a cute boy now, that much was obvious. "I'll tell you a story, okay? Before we have breakfast."

Who didn't like to start off the day with a good story?

"It's not very nice to pull fur. I think you look really cool as a dog... but kinda scary. You're so big!" And that was a bit of a shock but it was Sirius. How bad could he be? Even puppy Sirius had to be good. He came over and climbed up onto the bed himself, able to mostly get himself up and onto it with some scrabbling.

Sitting next to Sirius, he shuffled closer and closer. He liked to sit close. Sirius was warm and comforting.

"What story is it?"

Sirius stretched out on the bed again, wrapping an arm around Harry and holding him close. He wanted him to feel comfortable. It had been a while since he'd been this close to a person, but he could tell that Harry wasn't exactly used to it either, so it would be good for both of them. He ruffled Harry's hair, humming before deciding how he'd go about this. "It's a story about a werewolf. I'm not one, but I want you to understand them a bit better."

It seemed like something Lily and James would have wanted. "See, werewolves can't help it. They change when there is a full moon. It's really, really painful to change. And then they are a wolf, but a wild and angry one. They don't understand what's happening and they are scared and in pain and confused. There are some werewolves that are bad people. Some that are good people. But when they are a werewolf, unless they are really evil, they are just an animal that is lashing out. Do you get what I mean, kinda?"

"They're just scared." Harry got that. He lashed out when he was scared and upset. And he didn't like the idea of someone suffering that much just because they were a werewolf. It sounded painful. He bit his lower lip and ducked his head. "That's sad, Sirius. The good ones must be unhappy... is everyone mean to them? I get that. Everyone in my school is mean to me too. They play 'Harry hunting' and it's scary."

He nodded his head wisely, having experience being bullied for things that weren't his fault. And, much like James, he was brimming with empathy. He had the same troubled look on his face that James did when he worked it out. "It's hard because when it's not your fault, how do you stop doing it?"

"You are a good boy, Harry, you know that?" And he wanted to hit some children for 'Harry hunting', but he pushed that thought away. "Don't worry, you don't have to go back to that school."

Damn it. School.

Well, he pushed that back for now. "It's really hard. And yeah, if people find out you are a werewolf, they are really mean. Makes it hard to get a job, you know? But the story I want to tell you, it's about a little boy. Just a little older than you."

Sirius reached for his wand on the nightstand. Then he pulled Harry close against his chest and he moved his wand, making the figure of a little boy appear, all made up of silvery dust, from the looks of it. "He was a wizard, just like me and you. And wizards and witches, when we turn eleven, we get a letter that invites us to Hogwarts. That's the best school in the world!"

Of course he was convinced of that. "But the problem was that our little boy, he was a werewolf. So he was sad, because he thought he wouldn't be able to go to the school." He watched as the little silver boy cried in front of them.

"Oh no, that's not fair! He should be allowed to go." Harry insisted as he looked at the silver boy in front of him, his heart aching. He'd never seen such wonderful creations like this person, he'd never had a storytime like it. Or really ever. He was supposed to have a story with Sirius last night but after the bath, he fell asleep in Sirius' arms because, well, he was young and had a long, exciting day.

So this was a first. And what a first. "If he's a wizard then it shouldn't matter if he's a werewolf because he needs to learn. Learning is important." And being a werewolf shouldn't stop him.

"You are right! But, you know, people would think that he would turn the other children into werewolves too. But the truth is..." Sirius made a full moon appear in gold and the boy shifted into a wolf. He toned down just how painful it might look, he didn't want to scare Harry too much. But still, now there was a wolf, pacing sadly and howling. "Only during the full moon, when he's a werewolf, that's when the boy could have turned someone. But he was a good boy, just like you, he didn't want to hurt anyone. And so when he turned, his parents helped him. They locked him up in the basement and then he would only hurt himself."

Sirius waved the wand again and then he showed a different scene. A bearded man talking to a family of three. "The headmaster of Hogwarts, he came to visit the boy and his parents. And he told them that he could make it happen. They would keep it a secret, that the boy was a werewolf, and he would give him a safe place to be during the full moon. Can you imagine how happy the boy was?"

He showed the boy jumping from joy, smiling himself as he imagined a young Remus.

"That's amazing! Brilliant. I hope he got to make a lot of friends. I don't think he'd hurt people, he looks too nice." Harry was already over empathising with the main character, wanting so badly to protect him. He was older than him, sure, but he was a big boy and he had no friends and he was in pain... that didn't seem right. "He never hurt anyone at school, right? He doesn't seem the type. I bet he locked himself away like his mommy and daddy taught him."

He nodded in approval as he watched the tiny, silver boy bounce around, laughing a little.

"He's so excited!"

"No, he never hurt anyone. He was really, really good. Even if his idiot friends weren't always." Sirius moved the wand, watching the story unfold. Showing the train and then showing the castle. "That's Hogwarts."

Or at least a silvery approximation of it in a kind of shadow puppet play, but anyway. "And when he got there, our boy, he made a lot of friends. His best friends were three other boys. They would get up to so much mischief together."

As he spoke, there were the three boys, running around together, pushing each other and playing around. His heart hurt, but he ignored that. "But once a month, around the full moon, their friend, our boy, he'd be gone. Hiding away to be a werewolf. And then, when he came back, he was always really weak and a bit sick. So his friends worried and they wondered. And eventually they figured out that he had to be a werewolf."

"... Were they mean? They couldn't be, right? They were friends so they would love him anyway. Best friends always stand up for each other." Harry insisted, wearing the same stubborn pout that James had when he worked it out and confided in his friends. James had been so sure of it, he saw no other option. He told Sirius first, who was also suspecting it, the two of them discussing what to say.

"Did his mates help him?" He needed it. He looked so sad and weak. He wanted to touch the sad little silver boy and make it better for him. Especially since he didn't know the conclusion. "I'd have helped him."

"Yeah. They were still really young too, so they didn't know how to help him. But they were smart lads, so they tried to find out. They read a loooot of books." Sirius showed the boys in the library, with a mountain of books to go through. "And they didn't tell their friend they knew his secret, they didn't want to scare him, but they helped him. They were nice to him and did stuff, like carry his bag."

Sirius smirked and there was a short scene playing out, just one of the boys basically stealing the main boy's bag and running off with it. "They were still up to no good too."

He laughed. "But one day, they had an idea. You know, werewolves are only dangerous to humans. Not to animals. So they decided they would secretly learn how to turn into an animal. Become an animagus. That is very, very difficult magic and it takes a lot of time to learn, but they really wanted to help their friend! They didn't want him to have to be alone during the full moon, you know?"

"An animagus? That's like you. Did they become puppies so they could play with him?" Harry may have been more mature than most kids his age, out of being forced to be, but he still had a childish way of seeing the world. To him, he expected the tale to just be puppies frolicking. He didn't want the werewolf boy to be any sadder. He needed friends and love.

"Was the werewolf surprised and happy?" He expected as much. He bounced a little in excitement. "They could play during the full moon!"

"When you become an animagus, you don't get to pick what animal. It's the animal that fits you best, you know? So, maybe a dog or a cat. Or it can be anything, really." Sirius waved his wand, just showing a load of different animals, rapidly changing from one to the other. He wanted to give the boy a visual spectacle. "But, yes. In our story, the werewolf was so happy. From then on, every full moon, instead of being alone and in pain, he got to play with his friends! They explored everywhere and it was the happiest time of their lives."

Sirius kissed the top of Harry's head, then whispered. "Do you want to know a secret?"

Harry looked fascinated, giggling as he reached out to touch the silvery deer that shot by as the animals changed - it was like touching glitter and silver fell everywhere. With an excited smile, he leaned into Sirius, preening over the fact that he was loved and got a kiss. He was a very happy boy already.

"I wanna know the secret!" Oh, wait. That was rude. "Pretty please." Better.

"One of the boys that was friends with the werewolf, he was your father. James." Sirius smiled, showing one of the boys and then showing how he changed into the stag. Of course that would be the one Harry was drawn to. "And then there was me, of course. You already saw me." Still, he had the boy who changed into the puppy appear as well. "Your father's animagus form was a stag. And I'm the giant puppy."

He laughed, and maybe it did sound just a little bit like barking. "When you were little, you liked playing with his antlers."

"He was a stag? That's amazing." His dad had antlers and his Godfather was a dog, fluffy dog. That was so cool. "What about the werewolf? Did I get to be with him too? He seems nice. I feel bad for him... he had a sad life before his friends." And Harry got that. He had a sad life before Sirius came and fixed it for him.

"Did you all stay friends?" He wondered if they still were. Sure, dad had died but what about the werewolf and the dog?

"It's really complicated." Sirius didn't want to overwhelm the boy with sadness. One thing after the other. However... "You met the werewolf. His name is Remus. Remus Lupin." Which was a bit odd, all things considered, but Sirius figured that the Black Dogstar couldn't exactly talk. "He was there when you were born too. And he held you and he told you stories. He's a better story teller than me."

More coherent, generally. Although he had tried hard today. "He's a good man. One of the best men I've ever known. Now..."

Before more questions could come. "Who wants pizza for breakfast?!"

Remus Lupin. He would remember that name. He was a friend of his dad so sooner or later, he had to find him. He sensed he wasn't allowed to ask more questions but that was okay. For now. He knew he had a morning to get ready for. Sliding out of the bed, he landed on his feet and looked up at Sirius, holding out his hand.

"Can we have pizza for breakfast? Isn't that more of a dinner thing?" He didn't know, he was curious! "I usually have to fry food for breakfast... do we fry the pizza?"

"Nah. We can just eat it cold." Sirius smirked and took Harry's hand, heading out of the room with him. "Cold pizza is a decent breakfast, you'll see. I'm not a proper kind of man, so we will do things a bit improperly, all right? That's more fun."

He led them down the stairs, aiming for the kitchen, where he had wisely stored the pizza. "I cleaned up a bit. Whatcha think?"

Had to get some praise. "Have you ever walked a dog, Harry?"

"It looks so cool." He rushed ahead and then peered about, marvelling at the lack of dust. He touched one of the chairs and smiled as nothing came off it. "You dust better than me. I always miss something." He had a habit of not doing the tops of cupboards and higher up things cause, well, he couldn't reach them. It always got him in trouble.

"I've never walked a dog but... my aunt breeds bulldogs. She has a dog, he's called Ripper. He bites me." So Harry was a bit nervous around dogs, he didn't want to be but he was kind of scared. "He once chased me around the garden all night and stole my shoe." And then he got punished for having one shoe. "Some dogs are mean."

"Not that good at dusting, I just use magic. Good cheats. And yeah, you are right. Some dogs are," Sirius agreed, "But don't worry, I'm not. I'm adorable and precious." That said Sirius picked Harry up and sat him on a chair, only to crouch down next to him and nuzzle his arm, looking up at him as if he was a dog right now. "They are still looking for me, but they don't know I can turn into a dog, you know? So I reckon if we cover up your scar, maybe dye your hair for a bit, you could go into the village with me in dog form and do some shopping. I can carry it back, I have strong jaws."

"I can carry it too. I carry everything, I'm really good at it. I carried all of Dudley's Christmas presents last year. Five bags! I didn't drop any." He was very proud of himself. He grinned, excited to prove how strong he was and reaching out to stroke Sirius's hair because it was so much softer and nicer now. "If we go out shopping together then don't I need to have a lead for you? I don't wanna get lost..."

He could live with dyed hair and not having a full adult but being alone or lost? It was scary.

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