hogwrites | Raising Harry

"Christ, Pads. You're looking awfully peaky."

Sitting down besides a shivering Sirius, James smiled and looked down at his old friend. This was far too soon, he shouldn't be able to see him already. Sirius should have years left but then -- he looked around the cell and grimaced. Not much of a life, is it? "You can't die off yet. I need you still, mate. Besides, you don't wanna see the afterlife... seriously overrated. More to do here."

Reaching out, he tried to touch and failed. "Come on, give us a look with those beautiful eyes of yours, Pads. Show me you're listening."

"Prongs..." Sirius muttered the name, not actually looking up. He tightened his arms around himself, trying to figure out if he was too hot or too cold. Too tired, he knew that. That was the best thing to do, wasn't it, when one was sick? Get a good night's sleep. No wonder he had seen bodies get buried out there so often.

But he heard James' voice and that was enough, finally, to make him sit up, look around. His eyes were more bloodshot and glassy than beautiful, but they did focus on James finally. Not the first time he'd seen James. He licked his cracked lips and then pressed them together, tasting blood.

"Sorry." He wasn't, honestly, sure what James had said, but he knew he was sorry. That was a good one to go with. He was always sorry.

"You always are and you've got nothing to be sorry about. Wait, no, that's wrong. That time you told me to add sneezing powder to Lily's cake... you owe me a sorry for that. I get all kinds of sorry for the stuff you didn't do so what about the stuff you did do?" James teased as he sat down across his best friend and crossed his legs, smiling all care free and happy because he knew someone had to smile here or no one would.

"Mate, you're dying. Why else can you talk to a dead man? That's not good. Come on, you gotta fight." He couldn't lose Sirius now, he needed him still. "I got to have someone I love and trust, fighting my corner. Don't leave this world yet."

He wanted to spare him but he didn't know how.

"'s all right. They probably wouldn't let me die." Not that Sirius really wanted to die. He wanted to be dead, there couldn't really be a mistake about that, but wanting to die? Seemed like the coward's way out. He leaned back against the wall, looking at James. It was strange to see him like that. Smiling and happy. Usually these days he was haunted by the empty look in his eyes before he closed them.

"What do you need?" He looked around, then snorted. It was funny, in a dark way. "Hope what you want is in here, I'm fresh out of anything else."

"I gotta ask a big favour of you Pads. It's a biggie but like, you know, Lily and I need someone to fight for us cause we can't. We've been watching, trying and -- and I can't watch much more." The world was horrible and he couldn't stand watching it much longer. "Forget Wormtail. Forget revenge. Hell, for now, forget the bloody Dark Lord. I got a worse issue. In-laws."

The worst of all. "They got my boy, Pads. They got him and they're hurting him. I need you to get my lad and run. I dunno where but you gotta."

"Harry." Sirius said the name and he felt awful, like he didn't deserve it. The boy. He shouldn't have ever left him, shouldn't have let Hagrid take him. Then maybe things would be different. Or maybe they still wouldn't have believed him. So many mistakes he wished he could undo. How old was Harry now? Sirius looked up at the wall across from him, trying to do his best estimate. How many years? Five. Seven. Something along those lines. It had been a while since he had gotten to ask the date off of someone and his own system of keeping track of things suffered, given how he often couldn't tell night from day.

"He's with the muggles?" That thought alone did almost make him sick. He knew enough stories to dislike them already and now James said that they were hurting him? "You know I would. I'd do anything for him. But..." He gestured around uselessly, scoffing. Angry at himself. "You should ask Moony. Though I guess he's too smart to almost die of a cold."

"He wouldn't do it. He's a weak man, his body can't take it and his mind can't handle it - he wouldn't interfere. He'd trust the plan and follow it on cause he's a good bloke, our Moony but he ain't like us. He wouldn't break every rule for someone he loved." Maybe he would if he was hard pushed but Remus worked within the rules and with a gentle touch. James didn't need that. "They beat and starve him, your Godson, they keep him in a cupboard under the fucking stairs. He's got no life, nothing of his own. He's alone. I want to just be there for him and give him a hug."

He wanted so badly to go, pick up his boy and take him away from there but he was hopeless. "He's your boy, yeah? What's mine is yours. We always agreed. You'd marry Lily if I offered it, you'd raise our boy if we offed it. That was the deal." The very drunk deal they made over too much rum at a party but whatever. James stood by it. "Prison ain't gonna stop you. There's nothing you can't do, Pads. Trust me."

Edited 2019-12-13 19:13 (UTC)

Sirius' eyes narrowed. Of course, not surprising. He had always had a temper, always had a lot of anger in him, really. And now he had to hear about his godson being abused? "How can they allow it? What's up with bleeding Dumbledore? What about the order? How can they stand for it?"

It wasn't right. "And why is there a cupboard under the staircase?" That just seemed odd. Was that a common feature? He didn't know muggle architecture all that well. "How am I supposed to get out, Prongs? They can feel me. I know I can feel them all the time."

He laughed and shook his head. "I don't know how to escape this." Leaning back, he closed his eyes, not wanting to see the judgement and disappointment on James' face.

But his mind was still going. "...I know they can't see."

"They want him to suffer, I think. Dunno why but I think it. I can't know everything but I know that my boy needs you. You gotta find a way. And you will. Trust me, I know you. There's nothing you can't do." With a small smile, he shuffled closer and leaned forward, just short of his forehead, not able to lean them together but close enough. "I got a little spark left in me. For my boy. I'll cause them some problems and when I do, you gotta be ready to act. Get well, get better and then oh dear, we might have a bit of mischief left together, Pads."

One last trick for the history books. "We're in it together. You gotta try. If you fail, you fail. Don't beat yourself up but... we both know you can manage this. Do it for me and Lils, mate."

"If I can get out, I can get to Harry. Nothing could stop me. No one could." Not when James had told him that was needed. Not when he knew that someone was making the boy suffer. He felt the anger burning still. Good, that's what he could focus on. Love, hope, anything positive like that, a harder motivation to keep up in here.

He nodded his head, the vague outline of a plan forming. Just a thought, for now. But Sirius looked at James, blinking blearily. "I am sorry though. I'm so bloody sorry. This wasn't..."

He trailed off, swallowing down so much bitterness. "I thought it would work."

"We don't blame you. Not me or Lily. We love you, we could never not love you. I don't have to forgive you when you did nothing wrong. You had a great plan, it was brill... we didn't know Wormtail was an actual bloody rat, did we?" James smiled as he pulled back, slowly getting to his feet because he felt his strength fading and he knew he didn't have long. "I love you, Sirius. Always will. You're my brother and my best mate. Don't think I could ever hate you."

Truth was, he didn't hate any of them. Wormtail, Pads, Moony... they were all boys. Stupid boys. What a mess they got into. "Get my lad and love him like he's me, yeah? And he'll love you back. You need a little loving."

That much was clear. "Shit, I gotta soon... just my luck."

"So you are not just a dream, huh?" Couldn't be. In his dreams, if James was alive at all, he was never like this. And he knew that was wrong, but maybe there wasn't enough goodness left in him to even imagine James properly. But that meant that this was real. "I love you too. I miss you so much, Prongs..."

Being dead. Really did sound good. But no, he didn't want to die. "I'll try. For Harry."

He had to. No other option.

"Nope. It's me. Sorry, mate, I'd stay and all but... can't. Look, when you see that loud, pig Vernon? Could you just scare the shit outta him. Maybe bite him." With a mischievous smirk, he started to fade. Reaching up, he took off his glasses and cleaned them on his shirt like he always did - even if his mom, Lily and the lady next door all told him to use a cleaning cloth instead.

"See you soon, Pads. Give it twenty odd years or more before we met again, yeah?"

With a playful smile, he slid his glasses back on and gave Sirius a thumbs up as he slowly faded from the cell.

Edited 2019-12-13 19:47 (UTC)

Honestly, Sirius wasn't sure whether he had actually seen James or whether anything that James he might have seen was actually true or not. But all he needed was that spark of possibility. Harry needing him. James and Lily asking for his help. Someone hurting Harry.

It was in his animagus form that he escaped. He knew the dementors wouldn't be able to tell, at least not for a while. All misery felt the same, Sirius reckoned.

Once he was outside, he knew he needed a wand, that was the first priority. He stole one from a second hand store. Not too bad, really, definitely dragon heart string, he could tell. Having a wand again made the next step, getting clothes, a lot easier. He broke into a muggle store specialising in motorcycles and so it didn't take long until he was not only clothed, but also in possession of a flying motorcycle again. When he'd first customised his machine, it had taken weeks, months even, figuring out the right spells and what parts mattered, how to get it to work in synergy... But after all these months, he had figured it out, he had fine-tuned his skill. This motorcycle would do.

And then the question was where to find Harry. He was lucky he remembered the names and, after frightening a muggle with his inquiries, he figured out what a phone book was. So now, armed with an address, he was on his way. 4 Privet Drive.

Where Vernon Dursley was busy telling Petunia Dursley a particularly boring thing that happened at work and had greatly annoyed him. Where Dudley Dursley was playing with his monster trucks, mostly enjoying lording the fact that he got to play over Harry, who had been told to sit in the corner. Where the television was showing a really not flattering picture of Sirius, looking crazed and angry, dirty hair and dirty clothes, while the news woman described him as an 'armed and dangerous convict on the run'.

It was in that moment that Sirius arrived. And he came in through the wall. A loud crash, the motorcycle motor still running, bricks falling down behind him, dust only slowly settling. Sirius got off the bike, shaking his hair out and cracking his knuckles. He was wearing leather gloves, matching his jacket, his pants, his boots. Everything except for the shirt he wore under the jacket, which was a simple white. All they had had at the store. His hair was long, unkempt, in need of a wash and hanging past halfway down his back. He didn't care that there were some wild strands in his face, he just looked around the room and narrowed his eyes at the Dursley's, reaching for his wand. Dudley was staring, his fingers in his mouth.

And then Sirius, who had been glaring, spotted Harry in the corner and from one moment to the other, his grim expression gave way to a wide smile, his eyes lighting up. "Harry? Blimey, you have grown."

The sudden banging, crashing and smashing noise was definitely not from Dudley and his trucks. They made loud, fun sounds but nothing that scary. Harry jumped out of his skin and moved back but he was already stuck in the corner, kind of unable to go anywhere. He pulled his legs up to his chest and hugged himself as he looked at the terrifying man with his crazy hair and scary face. He looked like a mad man!

He looked like... like...

The TV man. He was the TV man. The bad one. He just saw him on TV! So had uncle Vernon earlier today when the news was on then - he said men like that deserved a hanging. Whatever that was. Harry gulped as the man looked at him, unsure how to respond to the smile. He heard his aunt shriek in fear and hurry to her son, protectively pulling Dudley away as the Dursleys hurried to safety, making as much distance as they could and happily abandoning Harry as they got into the other corner.

Harry blinked at the strange man, tilted his head to the side and just tired to process this. No point in running. "...Do--Do you know me?"

"Yeah, Harry." Sirius kept smiling, hoping he could calm the kid down. "I'm your godson. Last time I saw you, you were still a baby." He showed just how little he had been with his hands, one of them still holding his wand. What a precious boy Harry was. He hated that he was scaring him, but of course that only made sense. While he had no mercy for the Dursleys, he really wanted to reassure Harry.

"Don't be scared. I'm here to pick you up. Take you somewhere better. Somewhere safe." Not the most precise description, but Sirius knew what it was like to be a child trapped somewhere awful. Better and safe had been all he'd longed for. He waved his wand, muttering a spell under his breath. A butterfly made up of red and gold sparkles came from the tip and fluttered over to Harry, stopping in front of them and then opening its wings wide, only to explode into beautiful rainbow sparkles that rained on the ground.

Sirius laughed. It was the first real laugh in a long time. He crouched down and opened his arms up for Harry. "Come 'ere, my boy."

He heard the ugly walrus of an uncle huff angrily, but apparently he was too scared to actually speak. Dudley, however? He was confused. "Mommy, why is there a magic man?"

Harry was fascinated. This man knew him as a baby? So did he know his parents? He looked nervously at his aunt and uncle and then back at the man as a butterfly flew out of his magic stick. Something familiar about the butterfly made his heart warm, smiling faintly as he reached out to touch it, watching as it became rainbow dust in the air. With a small laugh, he looked up at the man and then he remembered that he'd seen the man on TV. For bad things.

But he knew him... no one ever knew him.

"Stay away from him, darling. He's dangerous! He's one of their lot." The sneer was hard to miss and Harry found it kinda funny. She had the same sneer for him as for his father. Looking at Sirius, he shuffled forward a little and then he had to pause.

"Are you a bad man? You were on the TV." Despite the sneer from before, he could hear the fear in his aunts voice and that made it easier to talk. They couldn't hurt him if someone scarier was around. He liked that.

"I'll be bad to that rotten lot," Sirius told him, as if in secrecy, gesturing at the Dursley's with his thumb. But he smiled at Harry still, sharing a conspiracy. "I'm gonna be really good to you. I promise. I promised it to your parents, you know?"

His face softened and he held his hand out to Harry, hoping he'd take it. "You belong with me, Harry. Not them."

Finally Vernon burst out, making himself as big as he could. "I'm not scared of some runaway hoodlum! The boy is in our care!"

Sirius turned his head, his eyes narrowing and, yes, he pointed his wand. His voice was colder now. "Do you feel they do a good job of caring for you, Harry?"

The promise of being with someone who smiled like that, belonging and having someone who knew his parents? It hurt his chest so much, he felt like he could burst. He wanted it so badly. Harry had dreamt of his dad coming in to save him or his mom, he hadn't expected it to ever really happen but this felt too real. He got up to move, slowly approaching with a timid creep.

But as soon as Vernon yelled, he stopped still on the spot with wide, scared eyes.

"Get back over here, boy!" His aunt was yelling now, hiding behind his uncle and holding Dudley tight. He looked at them, all the promise of punishment and anger for what had happened, and then he looked at Sirius. A mystery but at least he stood a chance of not being punished.

Impulsively, he rushed over and hid behind the man's leg, peering out. "Not overly, no. They don't like me much."

Sirius smiled at Harry, leaning down to ruffle his hair. Damn. He looked like a young James. With Lily's eyes. His heart hurt every time he looked at him. He wrapped one arm around the boy and lifted him up with ease. He barely seemed to weigh anything and Sirius wasn't a weak man either. He sat him down on the motorcycle, catching his eyes. So familiar and at the same time, so different. "Stay right there, all right?"

Not that he planned on going anywhere. All he did was turn back around to look at the Dursleys. "I thought you saw me on television. 13 dead. A single curse." He held his wand and he looked at Vernon, remembering James' words. "Orbis!"

And with that, the man collapsed. Well, no. Actually, Harry's uncle appeared to have sunk into the ground. Just about until his middle, but enough to terrify him, screaming in panic. Sirius turned around and walked over to Harry, smirking as he got onto the motorcycle behind him. "That was supposed to actually get him swallowed up. He must be too fat."

He wanted to see the boy smile or laugh again. "Are you ready?"

Harry was on a motorcycle. An actual motorcycle! He looked around in shock and awe, unsure what to do or how to feel. Was he really going? He was scared but then, he was usually scared. Could it get any worse? It was already bad so he supposed it wasn't too scary. Not as scary as when Vernon got mad. He swallowed as he watched his aunt try to save his uncle, feeling no sympathy for them. Not really. He smiled faintly and then looked up at Sirius. He looked wild and crazy but, at the same time, he looked at him with such love.

And he couldn't miss it. Rare as it was, he knew what it looked like. He saw his aunt look at his cousin like that.

Turning his head, he noticed said cousin was watching him on the motorbike and he felt the most intense urge to rub it in. He had no monster trucks or toys but he was on a motorbike. Ha. Maturely, he stuck out his tongue. "I'm ready."

"Then off we go." Sirius wrapped an arm securely around Harry. He checked the spells he had placed on the motorcycle, not unlike the kind on modern brooms, the ones that should make sure that Harry would stay relatively warm. He had no time to lose. "I got you," he promised, then he started the motor and backed out of the house. He waved his wand and the wall started to repair itself. Putting one hand on the handle, he tightened his hold on Harry.

"Now we fly." With that said, he took off with him, right up into the night sky, not bothering to even spare a glance for that horrible house. And the horrid, now ruined flower beds. He was flying, he had Harry. This elated feeling, it was happiness. Strange, but he loved it. Enough the he whooped, laughing loudly now. "It's wicked, Harry, don't you think?"

Harry cried out in fear at first, it was so new and terrifying because he hadn't expected it. He gulped hard and looked down as the ground got further and further away. What if he fell? It'd be just his luck to fall. He was always so unlucky. He peered down and then he heard Sirius whoop and laugh - it melted so many of his anxieties.

If Sirius was laughing like that, it couldn't be bad. He was flying. The magic man made him fly... God, he hoped this wasn't a dream cause it felt like one. "Is this real, mister?" If anyone knew, it'd be his dream companion.

"Yeah. It's real. That back there, life with them? That's the nightmare, kiddo. And they aren't getting their grimy hands on you again now."

Sirius looked down at Harry, cuddling him close. Damn, he was thin. Not that he was one to talk, but they definitely needed to get some food. He really should have more of a plan, but he was mostly winging this. "My name is Sirius. So just called me that. Or Padfoot. That's my nickname."

He didn't want the boy to address him like a stranger. "I have a lot to tell you, I know. But one thing after the other, all right? For now, I am taking you to my uncle's house. He died a few years back and he left the house to me. I've never been there, but he lived by the sea. Seems nice."

"The sea? I've never seen the sea. Aunt and uncle go every year with Dudley. They told me I could go if I cleaned the whole kitchen but I didn't do a good job so I didn't get to." He hadn't caught one tea spoon and that was enough to dash his hopes and send him to the neighbours to be watched. Not that he minded the elder lady who watched him but she was hardly fond of him either. "The sea is blue and there's shells and sand, right?"

Dudley always boasted about getting ice cream there too. Maybe were going to live in an ice cream shop! It was crazy but everything kind of was here.

"Sirius? What's a Godfather? You said you were mine." What did that even mean?

Raising Harry

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