hogwrites | Raising Harry

"I make breakfast for my aunt and uncle every morning unless I'm being punished. IF I'm being punished, I can't leave my room. It's boring." Harry sounded more put upon than anything, like an employee than a nephew being taken care of. "I'm bad at making bacon but my eggs are okay. Though sometimes I burn the toast because eggs you gotta watch."

He had a very serious little nod as he looked at Sirius and then reached out, holding his hand up to stroke Sirius' face. Stubbly. Beardy. "I can take care of you. If it's scary, I'll wake up and sit with you."

"Well, don't worry. I'm not gonna punish you. And I really, really hope they still haven't dug your uncle out of the ground." That wasn't even remotely enough comeuppance, but at least he felt some satisfaction at the mental image. He smiled at Harry, incredibly endeared. "You will, huh? You are a true hero."

He had no doubt about that. "Maybe you can teach me how to make breakfast. I'm pretty useless at all of that stuff."

He sighed and then closed the pizza boxes, before leaning back and pulling Harry onto his lap. "Tell you what, Harry. How about the two of us hunt down the bathrooms and then we both get cleaned up some? I bet I can find pyjamas for us somewhere in this house and I'll just magic them smaller for you."

Oh. "Wait. I should help you get washed, right?"

"I can do it myself." Harry assured him, proud of how independent he was. He had to learn to be, it wasn't like anyone would do it for him. And it wasn't like he could neglect it either. Whenever he skipped a shower, his aunt would go on and on about what a dirty boy he was. He hated that a lot. "I just need a step in the shower so I can turn the water on and I can do it okay."

Leaning back against Sirius, he smiled excitedly and enjoyed the closeness. "I'll teach you about breakfast tomorrow. We can make it together. I'll teach you how to brew coffee right too."

It was all about ratios. Or so he had been lectured about before. "We'll take care of each other."

"Good deal." Sirius nodded and then he helped Harry off the sofa, holding his hand as he headed up the stairs. "I reckon the bathrooms and bedrooms will be up here."

Seemed logical to him. He liked the staircase already, since there wasn't a cupboard under it. Weird muggle customs! Sirius opened the first door, then smiled triumphantly. "Ha! Bathroom. Looks like it has all we need, right?"

There were even towels. "All right, let's keep going. You go left, I go right. Yell if you find a bedroom?"

"Okay." Harry hurried along, pushing open doors which took great effort to get open. He was a tiny boy so it involved a lot of jumping and shoving but he checked several rooms before finding one with a bed in it. "Sirius! I found beds!"

He hurried to the one next to it and managed to get it open, checking and yes, a bedroom next to it. Two together. He walked into the room and looked around, touching the sheets with interest. They were so dusty. Everything was dust.

It made him sneeze.

"You found it!" Sirius caught up to Harry and crouched down next to him. "Good job!" He got his wand out again and muttered a cleaning spell, swirling it around the room so the dust flew up and then vanished with a 'pop'. Much better this way. He laughed and picked Harry up, just so he could carry him over to the wardrobe, opening it. "Lots of stuff here... You see anything like pyjamas?"

"Uhhh... that one!" He reached out and pointed at the stripey ones. "Dudley has a pair like that. I'll get them some day soon... if I go back." He wasn't sure what would happen but he'd happily never go back. He just had to be super food to make sure he got to stay with Sirius. He was going to be the best boy. "I like them when they're stripey. They're like in picture books. I've never had my own pyjamas."

"Well, you don't need to go back to the smelly place." Sirius set Harry back down and got the pyjamas out. Holding them up, he shrunk them down, until they seemed to fit better, then he handed them to Harry. "Does that look right to you? These are gonna be yours now. But we can buy better ones later."

He wanted to buy him so many things. "I got loads of money, you know? We can buy you all the toys. All of them."

"I don't need all the toys, I'm happy to be here. I like to be with you, Sirius." He was very happy, he didn't want to cost him a lot of money. And besides, he didn't know what toys he'd like. He did look at Dudley's sometimes with wanting but he wasn't sure if that was just because he was bored. "Did my dad like toys?" He was just wondering what sort of boy he should be. "Did he have a lot of them?"

"Oh yeah." Sirius nodded his head, he could assure him of that. "First time I saw his room, I thought my head would explode. He had so much stuff, the rotten bastard." He grinned, sitting across from Harry and facing him. What a tiny boy. "He loved playing around, your dad did. And your grandparents? They were aces. The best people. And they loved him a lot, so they got him whatever he wanted. But James was really generous too, you know? He always shared what he had. Really good bloke."

"He sounds really nice. I wish I could have known him." Hearing about him was exciting but it did hurt. He wanted his dad, he wanted to meet him and hug him. Same with his mom too. He missed them and he didn't even know then, barely met them. "I see them in my dreams sometimes but it's only ever the bad dream." The one in the bedroom where the scary man came and it was like lightening. He didn't like that dream. "I want to make happy memories with them. We can do it together."

Then it felt less lonely to miss them.

"We can do it together," Sirius agreed, taking Harry's hand in his to shake on it. "I get it. It's hard for me to remember the good things too. But you are the best that they've ever made. And we will make the best of it all. That's what they'd want."

Sirius knew that for a fact. "All right. Now, what do you say we wash, change into our pyjamas and then we meet back here, so I can tuck you in? I'll tell you a good night story."

"Sounds good." Harry smiled and held out his hand for Sirius to take, knowing that they were a team and they would take care of each other. He just had to make sure that sirius would want to take care of him and then it'd all be perfect.

For now, he was happy and sage. That was all that mattered.

In spite of - or maybe because of - being somewhere well beyond the realm of exhausted, Sirius had been restless. He ended up checking in on Harry approximately forty-seven times, just to make sure he was breathing normally, sleeping soundly and not falling off the bed or something.

Since sleep was still escaping him, he finally decided to be productive, cleaning up - magically of course - in the entire house, checking out the kitchen and everything, so he would actually know what he had to work with. It was good to see some cauldrons and a decent supply of potions ingredients. If he could get what he needed, maybe he could make up some dreamless sleep potion. Honestly, shopping would be an issue. He knew that Harry could likely go shopping in the village - with a dog by his side, of course - but any magical supplies? Everyone in the wizarding world would recognise Harry Potter. He would have to think about this.

A problem for another day. For now they had pizza they could use for breakfast and then, maybe, Harry and him could go on a muggle shopping trip. But first, Sirius finally took the time to properly clean himself up. Before he had barely managed, too worried that Harry might... drown, or something. His fears weren't very defined, but they were aplenty. But now, with Harry sound asleep - he had checked again - Sirius could wash, could especially wash his hair. It took a few rounds and then he still ended up cutting off a significant chunk, but finally his hair was brushed, his face was shaven and he sat there, staring at himself in the mirror. He had lost weight, that was for sure. Still strong though, the times he had managed to channel what little energy he had had into working out had definitely paid off. His face looked thinner, his hair - now - pretty much the same as he remembered. It was his eyes that had changed, as had the smile, which didn't come as readily. Easier to look forlorn. What a twat.

Harry made him smile. Sirius focused on that and moved away from the mirror. Truthfully, he had never been one to look at himself much anyway. So there he was, in bed, staring at nothing and wondering how to settle his mind. In the end, he retreated into his animagus form and like that, as the giant dog, he managed to find some rest. He was just hoping he would wake up before Harry walked in on him.

Harry lay in bed for a few moments to just absorb everything that had happened. He wasn't back under the stairs so it was definitely not a dream... so what was it? His dad was a wizard, he was with his Godfather and he ate pizza in a cool new house he belonged it! It was like a fantasy he'd make up in his head but it was so very real.

And he had to do everything he could not to mess it up. Hence why he was pulling himself out of bed already, eager to try and make Sirius some food. He could show him how well he worked and then Sirius would have to want to keep him.

Toddling through the hall, he paused in front of Sirius' door and looked at it, wondering if he was allowed in. Sirius said so but he didn't want to make the wrong move... in the end, he did it. He pushed the door open and peered in to find --

Well, not Sirius.

That was a very big and very scary looking dog. With a small whimper, Harry stared and wondered where his Godfather was. Did it eat him?! Oh no, what if his Godfather was eaten?!

Sirius steered, his senses always excellent in this form. He blinked his eyes open and rolled around, looking at Harry. Then he realised that he was a dog and that that was bound to be confusing Harry. So, since he wasn't sure what else to do, he wagged his tail and tried to look sweet, hoping it would reassure him. Then he shifted, from the big, black, fluffy dog to a man, wearing the same pyjamas Harry was wearing, just bigger.

"It's me, Harry! Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." And he knew that he probably had. Damn it, here he was finally not looking like a deranged madman before and he sprung this on the boy. "...you saw me do this when you were little. You loved it then."

"... You were a dog." How did he do that? Harry hid a little behind the doorframe, a little shocked but very fascinated. After all, he was James and Lily's son - fear came second to fascination. With wide eyes, he went from fear to happiness. He trusted Sirius, trusted him more than anyone in this world, even if it had only been a day. "You're a big dog. You're like a wolf! ... Are you a werewolf?"

He wasn't sure what one was but Dudley dressed as one for Halloween when they were four. "You're very fluffy." Looking up at Sirius with a tentative smile, he finally looked at him and felt weirdly excited. He didn't look so scary now! He looked like a nice man. "You shaved."

"Come here, Harry." Sirius held a hand out to him, still on the bed. Maybe they could cuddle a little. What was wrong with some cuddling? "When you were little, like, really tiny, I'd always curl up on the floor next to you and you'd play with my fur. You were always sweet and gentle, you didn't pull."

Such a cute baby he had been. And a cute boy now, that much was obvious. "I'll tell you a story, okay? Before we have breakfast."

Who didn't like to start off the day with a good story?

"It's not very nice to pull fur. I think you look really cool as a dog... but kinda scary. You're so big!" And that was a bit of a shock but it was Sirius. How bad could he be? Even puppy Sirius had to be good. He came over and climbed up onto the bed himself, able to mostly get himself up and onto it with some scrabbling.

Sitting next to Sirius, he shuffled closer and closer. He liked to sit close. Sirius was warm and comforting.

"What story is it?"

Sirius stretched out on the bed again, wrapping an arm around Harry and holding him close. He wanted him to feel comfortable. It had been a while since he'd been this close to a person, but he could tell that Harry wasn't exactly used to it either, so it would be good for both of them. He ruffled Harry's hair, humming before deciding how he'd go about this. "It's a story about a werewolf. I'm not one, but I want you to understand them a bit better."

It seemed like something Lily and James would have wanted. "See, werewolves can't help it. They change when there is a full moon. It's really, really painful to change. And then they are a wolf, but a wild and angry one. They don't understand what's happening and they are scared and in pain and confused. There are some werewolves that are bad people. Some that are good people. But when they are a werewolf, unless they are really evil, they are just an animal that is lashing out. Do you get what I mean, kinda?"

"They're just scared." Harry got that. He lashed out when he was scared and upset. And he didn't like the idea of someone suffering that much just because they were a werewolf. It sounded painful. He bit his lower lip and ducked his head. "That's sad, Sirius. The good ones must be unhappy... is everyone mean to them? I get that. Everyone in my school is mean to me too. They play 'Harry hunting' and it's scary."

He nodded his head wisely, having experience being bullied for things that weren't his fault. And, much like James, he was brimming with empathy. He had the same troubled look on his face that James did when he worked it out. "It's hard because when it's not your fault, how do you stop doing it?"

"You are a good boy, Harry, you know that?" And he wanted to hit some children for 'Harry hunting', but he pushed that thought away. "Don't worry, you don't have to go back to that school."

Damn it. School.

Well, he pushed that back for now. "It's really hard. And yeah, if people find out you are a werewolf, they are really mean. Makes it hard to get a job, you know? But the story I want to tell you, it's about a little boy. Just a little older than you."

Sirius reached for his wand on the nightstand. Then he pulled Harry close against his chest and he moved his wand, making the figure of a little boy appear, all made up of silvery dust, from the looks of it. "He was a wizard, just like me and you. And wizards and witches, when we turn eleven, we get a letter that invites us to Hogwarts. That's the best school in the world!"

Of course he was convinced of that. "But the problem was that our little boy, he was a werewolf. So he was sad, because he thought he wouldn't be able to go to the school." He watched as the little silver boy cried in front of them.

"Oh no, that's not fair! He should be allowed to go." Harry insisted as he looked at the silver boy in front of him, his heart aching. He'd never seen such wonderful creations like this person, he'd never had a storytime like it. Or really ever. He was supposed to have a story with Sirius last night but after the bath, he fell asleep in Sirius' arms because, well, he was young and had a long, exciting day.

So this was a first. And what a first. "If he's a wizard then it shouldn't matter if he's a werewolf because he needs to learn. Learning is important." And being a werewolf shouldn't stop him.

"You are right! But, you know, people would think that he would turn the other children into werewolves too. But the truth is..." Sirius made a full moon appear in gold and the boy shifted into a wolf. He toned down just how painful it might look, he didn't want to scare Harry too much. But still, now there was a wolf, pacing sadly and howling. "Only during the full moon, when he's a werewolf, that's when the boy could have turned someone. But he was a good boy, just like you, he didn't want to hurt anyone. And so when he turned, his parents helped him. They locked him up in the basement and then he would only hurt himself."

Sirius waved the wand again and then he showed a different scene. A bearded man talking to a family of three. "The headmaster of Hogwarts, he came to visit the boy and his parents. And he told them that he could make it happen. They would keep it a secret, that the boy was a werewolf, and he would give him a safe place to be during the full moon. Can you imagine how happy the boy was?"

He showed the boy jumping from joy, smiling himself as he imagined a young Remus.

"That's amazing! Brilliant. I hope he got to make a lot of friends. I don't think he'd hurt people, he looks too nice." Harry was already over empathising with the main character, wanting so badly to protect him. He was older than him, sure, but he was a big boy and he had no friends and he was in pain... that didn't seem right. "He never hurt anyone at school, right? He doesn't seem the type. I bet he locked himself away like his mommy and daddy taught him."

He nodded in approval as he watched the tiny, silver boy bounce around, laughing a little.

"He's so excited!"

Raising Harry

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