"They're not smelly, you idiot. Oi, you. Yeah, you were on the train, right? You're a half blood, yeah? You said your mom was a muggle or something." James leaned forward and started violently poking a very confused boy across from them. He had very little tactic but he was forward, eager and loved to talk to people. "Do you shower?"
"... Yes? Of course I do. Why?... Do I smell?"
"No! You smell great. Thanks, mate. I'm James, by the way." James grinned at the very confused boy and then gestured at him. "See, they wash. Your mate is just off or something. It's not normal."
Sirius eyed the half-blood across from them, noting the worried look on his face. He got up, leaned forward, then sat down again with a nod, giving the boy a thumbs up. "You smell great. I'm Sirius."
That said, he turned back to James, wanting to find an argument to win this for Severus. But, well. he couldn't deny that Severus did indeed not smell good. So what did he do? "You look like an owl with those glasses. Betcha you suck up to teachers."
"Way better than his other mate. He reeks like a swamp." James informed half-blood and then held up his hands. "I ain't trying to be mean but he thinks I am but I'm just saying the truth. If you don't wash, you smell bad. Ain't that right?"
"... Yeah, I mean--"
"I'm right." James boasted proudly and then he frowned, reaching up to adjust his glasses before glaring. "Do not! Bet you do, you seem like the squirmy little teacher's pet type. You're such a weasel faced butthead."
"Am not." Sirius sounded very offended and, once more, he looked at the boy, who smelled great and was a half-blood, wanting to get some agreement in too. "My face isn't like that of a weasel, right?"
That seemed like an easy thing to prove. He didn't even have fur. "Your face is nice."
Maybe flattery would get him agreement. He turned back to James, bolstering himself up. "All of my tutors said I'm incorrigible!"
He wasn't sure what that meant, but it was always said with a certain tone that had him assumed it had to be bad. Which meant good.
"Yeah, you-- it's a nice face." What was happening?
"Don't lie to him. Let him know he's a butthead, it's fine. He talks a lot of crap so he's gotta be." James laughed and then bolstered himself up too, meeting Sirius' eyes and smirking. "My tutors said I'm lazy and rude. And I never turn up. So there, up yours."
Turning to the great smelling, nice faced half blood, James grinned. "I'm the worst in my class and I'm the only one in my class."
"... Good for you?"
"Yeah. So don't call me a teacher's pet, weasel face. Say sorry or I'll make you pay for it."
"That means you are the best in your class too, you idiot." Sirius huffed, and then he smiled. Oh, he had gotten into plenty of fights before. All of the people he had fought before were over at the Slytherin table though and, admittedly, he had lost those often. Mostly, as he'd argue, on account of them usually being more than one against him and some being older.
But the point was, he knew fights. He liked them, really. So he was ready. "Come on then, coward owl face. Make me pay."
Leaning over the table, James picked up a pumpkin pie and straight up threw it at Sirius. Right in the middle of the great hall as the sorting just ended and just as Dumbledore stood up to give his speech. Talk about a scene stealer.
The good smelling nice faced half blood swiftly slid his chair away a little, not wanting to get attacked with pie.
Sirius dodged the pie, which instead hit an unsuspecting boy behind him in the face. He had no time to apologise right now, he was too busy climbing up on the bench and then onto the table, grabbing the nearest pie he could find and throwing it down at James in turn.
He would have just punched him, but he did approve of pies as their weapons of choice.
McGonagall was already rushing their way, the prefects were getting up and, honestly, most of Gryffindor was cheering them on.
James caught the pie and tossed it back at Sirius, reaching out to grab a glass of juice and tossing it across, splattering three other students and barely catching Sirius. The prefects came closer, breaking the two boys apart and moving them aside.
"God, a Black has been in Gryffindor for how long and he's causing trouble. Should have been in Slytherin." One of the older boys mumbled and James turned, glaring.
"Oi! Gryffindors make just as much of a bloody mess as Slytherins, you uppity tosser. He's a Gryffindor! You heard the hat." His enemy belonged here and no one was taking him away.
"Mr Potter, that's enough!" James stopped and then looked at the head of house, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Oh yeah. Whoops. The ceremony.
Mr Potter! Mr Black!" Sirius slunk off the table and walked next to James, since McGonagall's stare compelled him too. It was hard not to squirm under that gaze. "Do you two really want to be the first students in Hogwarts history to earn detention on their first ever day of school?"
Sirius muttered, under his breath. "Sounds bloody brilliant." He was all for it. Seemed like an achievement.
"I trust you wouldn't want me to inform your parents of this kind of misbehaviour. Now, who started this?"
Stubbornly, Sirius stayed quiet. He wasn't going to admit fault, but he would never rat someone out either. He wasn't a coward. Even if he really didn't want his parents informed.
"I did. I thought he had a weasel face so I tossed a pie to cover it up. Bit of a waste of a pie though. He only threw back to save his arse." James licked his hand because he had pie bits on it, seeming a bit less scared of punishment. He didn't like to upset his parents but man, what a record. First student to get detention on the first day.
Wiping his hand on his robes, and leaving pie smears behind, James lowered his head dutifully.
"I'm sorry I started a food fight. I was being a prat. I'll take my punishment but... it's just exciting, I'm all out of sorts. Sorry, really."
He was happy to take the rap for this. He did throw the first pie and besides, he didn't like how quiet Sirius suddenly was.
Wait. What? He couldn't let the Potter kid show him up! So Sirius looked up, shaking his head. "I started it! I told him he looked like an owl. And that he was the best student in his class and an idiot." Sirius was on a real truth spillage now, so he gestured over to the half-blood kid from before. "And I told him that he smells great and has a good face."
There, that was his list of sins. Wait. "I was hoping he'd try and punch me, professor, cause then I'd have totally won. I'll take my punishment. I can totally take more than him."
He said it with such innocent conviction, really not dissimilar to James at all. Minerva McGonagall looked down at these boys, so eager to confess, both with pie on their faces and hands and really looking so excited. She couldn't be that harsh to them. "That sounds idiotic of both of you." That much was true. "Shake hands and apologise properly. To everyone else and the headmaster too. And I hope you learn from this."
"We will. We learned a lesson. We'll never waste perfectly good pie again." Holding out a pumpkin pie covered hand, he gripped Sirius' hand and shook it eagerly. "Good fight, mate. You nearly got me with that last pie. I got crust in my eye." James laughed and he could barely hide his contentment. He let go of Sirius and stood up, climbing onto the bench.
"Fellow students, I sincerely apologies with all my heart and rest assured, the pies taste great. Enjoy the rest of your evening." He looked as remorseful as he could. Turning to the very amused headmaster, he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."
At least he got to eat earlier than planed - he was so damn hungry.
Sirius climbed onto the bench next to James and tried to look as ashamed as he managed. "I'm sorry too. From the bottom of my heart." He sighed heavily and let his head hang. "I'm sorry, fellow students. And I'm really, really sorry, Professor Dumbledore, I can't wait to hear your speech. I bet it won't be very boring much."
He smiled, because the headmaster was smiling too. "And I'm sorry I didn't hit him in the face."
Well, he was honest. But he was also still smiling as he sat down next to James again, subtly picking up a piece of crust to put into his mouth. "You are not a teacher's pet." He could admit that, and approve.
"And you're not much of a weasel face. You're bleeding handsome, you are." James grinned and then picked up some pie off the table and ate that too. Then he remembered his manners and turned in his seat, whispering to the half blood. "Want some pie? It's barely been on us so it's pretty clean."
"No."
"Okay." James gave him a thumbs up and then tried to lean in closer. "Hope we didn't get you with the--"
"Potter, please shut up."
Nodding at the prefect, he pretended to lock his mouth with a key and winked, looking at Sirius playfully. He never was good at sitting still and being quiet.
"...sorry." Sirius muttered it to the boy who had cake all over his face, due to Sirius' first evasive manoeuvre. He felt doubly bad, because somehow he had just forgotten about him until just now. "Is the pie good?"
Peter nodded, licking his lips. His face was sticky, but admittedly tasty. So he smiled at the boys. Partly because he really didn't want to provoke their pie-throwing wrath.
"Really?" Leaning forward, James took some cake off Peter's face and licked it, looking up as Dumbledore spoke and then clapping when he had to. While everyone made noise, he turned to Peter and grinned. "It tastes brilliant. Mate, we'll clean you up later and all so stick with us, yeah."
He seemed a bit lost and alone so James thought he'd offer out friendship. After all, they needed friends here. It was going to be crazy.
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"... Yes? Of course I do. Why?... Do I smell?"
"No! You smell great. Thanks, mate. I'm James, by the way." James grinned at the very confused boy and then gestured at him. "See, they wash. Your mate is just off or something. It's not normal."
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That said, he turned back to James, wanting to find an argument to win this for Severus. But, well. he couldn't deny that Severus did indeed not smell good. So what did he do? "You look like an owl with those glasses. Betcha you suck up to teachers."
Ha.
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"... Yeah, I mean--"
"I'm right." James boasted proudly and then he frowned, reaching up to adjust his glasses before glaring. "Do not! Bet you do, you seem like the squirmy little teacher's pet type. You're such a weasel faced butthead."
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That seemed like an easy thing to prove. He didn't even have fur. "Your face is nice."
Maybe flattery would get him agreement. He turned back to James, bolstering himself up. "All of my tutors said I'm incorrigible!"
He wasn't sure what that meant, but it was always said with a certain tone that had him assumed it had to be bad. Which meant good.
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"Don't lie to him. Let him know he's a butthead, it's fine. He talks a lot of crap so he's gotta be." James laughed and then bolstered himself up too, meeting Sirius' eyes and smirking. "My tutors said I'm lazy and rude. And I never turn up. So there, up yours."
Turning to the great smelling, nice faced half blood, James grinned. "I'm the worst in my class and I'm the only one in my class."
"... Good for you?"
"Yeah. So don't call me a teacher's pet, weasel face. Say sorry or I'll make you pay for it."
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But the point was, he knew fights. He liked them, really. So he was ready. "Come on then, coward owl face. Make me pay."
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The good smelling nice faced half blood swiftly slid his chair away a little, not wanting to get attacked with pie.
"Gotcha, weasel face."
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He would have just punched him, but he did approve of pies as their weapons of choice.
McGonagall was already rushing their way, the prefects were getting up and, honestly, most of Gryffindor was cheering them on.
What? Better than some boring speech.
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"God, a Black has been in Gryffindor for how long and he's causing trouble. Should have been in Slytherin." One of the older boys mumbled and James turned, glaring.
"Oi! Gryffindors make just as much of a bloody mess as Slytherins, you uppity tosser. He's a Gryffindor! You heard the hat." His enemy belonged here and no one was taking him away.
"Mr Potter, that's enough!" James stopped and then looked at the head of house, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Oh yeah. Whoops. The ceremony.
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Sirius muttered, under his breath. "Sounds bloody brilliant." He was all for it. Seemed like an achievement.
"I trust you wouldn't want me to inform your parents of this kind of misbehaviour. Now, who started this?"
Stubbornly, Sirius stayed quiet. He wasn't going to admit fault, but he would never rat someone out either. He wasn't a coward. Even if he really didn't want his parents informed.
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Wiping his hand on his robes, and leaving pie smears behind, James lowered his head dutifully.
"I'm sorry I started a food fight. I was being a prat. I'll take my punishment but... it's just exciting, I'm all out of sorts. Sorry, really."
He was happy to take the rap for this. He did throw the first pie and besides, he didn't like how quiet Sirius suddenly was.
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There, that was his list of sins. Wait. "I was hoping he'd try and punch me, professor, cause then I'd have totally won. I'll take my punishment. I can totally take more than him."
He said it with such innocent conviction, really not dissimilar to James at all. Minerva McGonagall looked down at these boys, so eager to confess, both with pie on their faces and hands and really looking so excited. She couldn't be that harsh to them. "That sounds idiotic of both of you." That much was true. "Shake hands and apologise properly. To everyone else and the headmaster too. And I hope you learn from this."
Sirius had learned that food fights were fun.
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"Fellow students, I sincerely apologies with all my heart and rest assured, the pies taste great. Enjoy the rest of your evening." He looked as remorseful as he could. Turning to the very amused headmaster, he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."
At least he got to eat earlier than planed - he was so damn hungry.
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He smiled, because the headmaster was smiling too. "And I'm sorry I didn't hit him in the face."
Well, he was honest. But he was also still smiling as he sat down next to James again, subtly picking up a piece of crust to put into his mouth. "You are not a teacher's pet." He could admit that, and approve.
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"No."
"Okay." James gave him a thumbs up and then tried to lean in closer. "Hope we didn't get you with the--"
"Potter, please shut up."
Nodding at the prefect, he pretended to lock his mouth with a key and winked, looking at Sirius playfully. He never was good at sitting still and being quiet.
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Peter nodded, licking his lips. His face was sticky, but admittedly tasty. So he smiled at the boys. Partly because he really didn't want to provoke their pie-throwing wrath.
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He seemed a bit lost and alone so James thought he'd offer out friendship. After all, they needed friends here. It was going to be crazy.