"Cool. Good to know he's trying to shack up with her." That was not the kind of deets that he was interested in. He wanted to know why Sirius looked like he'd been tortured and James wasn't here to piss him off. It was just odd, is all.
"I can't help but notice that's all presence tense." Not a great sign. "Where's Potter, then?" Well, if he wanted to know, he supposed he just had to straight up ask. "Would have thought you'd be married by now."
"James married Lily Evans." Hadn't that happened before Regulus died? Around the same time, actually. They had only just been eighteen, but such were the times. War. One never knew what would happen next. "They have a son. Harry. He's my godson, the Gryffindor seeker."
And Sirius did smile as he thought about Harry. Maybe Harry symbolised hope for all wizardkind in Britain, but to him... To him he was everything. Nothing mattered the way Harry did. He just wished he could be more by now. "There was a prophecy that your side got their hands on. Meant that they wanted Harry dead."
And they still did. Sirius considered how much whiskey he had left. Not enough. Definitely not enough. "Halloween 1982. That's when Lily and James were murdered by Voldemort."
"... I'm sorry." He didn't know why that shook him so much, he thought hearing that James died would make him smile or feel elated but he knew how painful this had to be for Sirius. He could see it in his face, in his actions - hell, was this the reason? He didn't even know what to say and for ages, he just sat there and looked down at his hands, awkwardly trying to think of what he should say.
"It's not my side. I was trying to ... to go back. I wanted to stop him."
He knew Sirius couldn't have known, how could he? But he felt now more than ever, he had to further himself from Voldemort. "I failed, obviously. I'm sorry. I tried."
"...I know." Sirius sighed, letting his head hang back until his hair brushed the floor. Then he moved to the side, putting an arm around Regulus. It felt weird, but it also felt as if it was a thing he should be doing. Comfort didn't come easy to him these days, from any position, but he was trying. "Don't worry. A lot of failure happened in the war. I doubt yours would even make a top 100. I'd be closer up there."
"I didn't realise that what they were telling me was wrong until I actually started to live by what I was saying. I couldn't follow a man like that. He hurt Kreacher." And Regulus had no one growing up but his elf. Sure, Sirius was there at the start but then he wasn't. He had deep affection and love for his elf, to see him in such a sorry state after an outing with the dark lord? It was too much.
The arm around him was heavy but comforting. Not that he'd admit it. It felt odd to have contact, he would never get used to it. "What mistakes could you have made? You were always perfect." Frustratingly so.
Sirius had to snort at that. "Oh, come on. That's the stupidest thing you've ever said." He shook his head and pulled his legs up so he could lean forward and rest his chin on his knees. Made it easier to look Regulus' way without really looking at him. "I've made plenty of mistakes. But my biggest mistake was thinking I was smarter than I was."
He had been so very clever. "I told James and Lily to make Peter secretkeeper. I reckoned they'd all think it was me. Go after me. I could handle it, right? Anything to keep them safe."
"Peter? Ah. Yes. The dunderhead who tags along with you lot." He never quite got that friendship, he also assumed pity was pretty central there. He was always trying to look like James and Sirius - as if he could be as handsome. "What happened? Did the dummy forget?" He just felt like that was the most logical conclusion.
Sirius' horrifyingly dangerous plan aside, it really was hard to think what he had done wrong. He could think of a million ways Peter fucked up.
"Peter gave them up to Voldemort. Seems like he was already in the inner circle by that point. I just hadn't seen it. I couldn't even imagine it, Merlin... I underestimated him until the end." Sirius shook his head, the events flashing by his eyes. He had seen it all too late. "After their murder, after I'd found Harry in what was left of the house, I went after Peter. Hunted him down. He exploded part of a street. Twelve muggles dead. And he got away."
Sirius laughed, because he couldn't help it. Whenever he got to that point, it was all he could do. "They caught me, sentenced me. Didn't get a trial. Everyone thought I was secret keeper."
"Sentenced you... to go to -- you went there, didn't you?" God, it was like Barty all over again. Why did everyone he loved just decide to go to fucking Azkaban as soon as he died? Regulus put his head in his heads, furious and frustrated but trying to keep it all school in so it came out more as resentment and annoyance. Peter Pettigrew.
He was alive, he was with the dark lord and Regulus was going to have his head. He would discuss it with Barty first chance he got. He didn't even want to think about the suffering Sirius must have been through. "Explains why you look so shattered."
"Hey, you twat! I've been told I look great." Given everything, anyway. Harry had asked him if he'd dyed his hair, even. But then, he was just 'old' to Harry. Looked less 'old' than Remus. Or Snape, for that matter, and wasn't that at least some good fucking Karma. "I escaped Azkaban about three years ago. I was trying to hunt down Peter, but he escaped me again. And here we are now."
He shrugged. "At least I got Harry a Firebolt. Most beautiful broom I've ever seen, you heard of it yet?"
"No. Not heard a lot. This is the first time I've been out since I came back. Not been back for a while, honestly." He didn't know how long because there wasn't a way to keep track of time properly and all. He wrapped his arms around himself and made a mental note to look up the firebolt. He wanted to go shopping and look at the new brooms, to go to a game or a tavern but he knew it couldn't happen.
"I can hardly walk the streets. He'd kill me, wouldn't he?" Just his luck. He shrugged a little and looked away. "Just wanted to come and check in on this place, you know? See if it was still standing." And check to make sure his big bro was okay.
"I can't be seen either. That's why I'm locked up here." And wasn't that just brilliant? "I'm so sick of being locked up. I wasn't made for it, I don't think. Painful death, that seems more up my alley, but here I am. Completely bloody useless." Sirius scoffed, then looked at Regulus. "Just wait it out. Or... Fight with us. Harry, he's got this prophecy Voldemort believes in. That he will be the one to defeat him. I don't know about that, but I know he's all I have. I'll keep him safe. I'll fight for him."
Sirius was erratic and, frankly, he scared him. He didn't know what it was but it was the familiar taking on this edge that left him feeling so sickly and unsure. That wasn't his brother. He had all the wildness that Barty had. The face of a man who'd seen and suffered far too much.
"I can't stay. There's someone I need to be with." He couldn't abandon Barty, not after everything. "I've probably caused enough worry coming." Still, at least now he knew. Though part of him wished he didn't. "I don't think I could do much good anyway. Last time I tried, I died."
"Yeah. You lucky sod." Sirius turned his head to lean his forehead against Regulus' hair, taking a deep breath. He had to sort out his thoughts. His brother was really here, right? "You want to leave?" Wait. "What do you mean? Who do you need to be with?"
Sirius frowned, realising he should have really thought about this sooner. "Reg... How are you back? Who did this?"
"It's not important." It was but what was Sirius going to say if he told him that Barty Crouch Jr saved him, brought him back to life and they were soulmates? It would over complicate everything. "I can come back but I have to leave. I can't stay here. No one would ever trust me, I've got the dark mark. You know what people would think of men like me."
It wasn't like he could just join the inner circle. It wasn't like there would be a million questions. Looking at his brother, he met his eyes and looked desperate. "Please tell no one I'm alive. Brother, please?"
"I know what people would think of men like you. It's what they think of me, remember?" Sirius scoffed and then met Regulus' eyes. Brother. "I'll have to let people know, Regulus. And you are wrong anyway. This is the Order, you wouldn't be the only member with a mark."
Not that he was about to say Snape's name, but he wouldn't just leave that out either. "You being alive means that this place is compromised. If you don't join us. If you don't let me know who you are allied with."
"I need to be neutral. There are plans, I can't --" Fuck. What if it got back to Voldemort that he was back? This would ruin Barty's plan but then he couldn't stay either. Damn. He probably shouldn't have done this. "If I join, I have to stay and I can't do that. I can't stay here. God knows, neither one of us wants to in the first place."
This place was just one big reminder of their trauma. "I wouldn't join with him. I died to stop him. Can't you just trust me this once?"
"It has nothing to do with trust. You could be used. You don't think you could be forced or tricked? I've seen it happen with better man than either of us." Sirius had never been the most trusting person, but the years hadn't made him any more trusting. For obvious reasons, it was quite the opposite. "I believe that you wouldn't join up with the Dark Lord, but where are you going? And who could you lead back here?"
"I won't come back. I just needed to see you this once."
Because he wasn't sure if he'd get a chance again. Looking at Sirius, he swiftly got to his feet and then held out his hand. "My wand, please." He would keep what he knew to himself and just deal with the consequences. Hopefully Barty wasn't going to be too pissed off at him. "I won't be coming back." It seemed too difficult.
Sirius knew he shouldn't. But he saw the desperation in his brother's eyes and he also had the thought that maybe he could use this as an excuse. An excuse to escape this prison. So he finally gave a nod and produced Regulus' wand, handing it over to him. "I hope that whoever you need to return to is good for you. Not using you."
"He'd give up everything for me so I'd rather think he does." With a small smile, he looked at Sirius and felt oddly haunted by his form and his words. Fucking Pettigrew, how could he do this? "Try to stay sane and, you know, maybe drink half a bottle instead." He gave Sirius a concerned look, hating how much he worried but he knew he couldn't do anything. All he could do was walk away.
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"I can't help but notice that's all presence tense." Not a great sign. "Where's Potter, then?" Well, if he wanted to know, he supposed he just had to straight up ask. "Would have thought you'd be married by now."
Just saying,
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And Sirius did smile as he thought about Harry. Maybe Harry symbolised hope for all wizardkind in Britain, but to him... To him he was everything. Nothing mattered the way Harry did. He just wished he could be more by now. "There was a prophecy that your side got their hands on. Meant that they wanted Harry dead."
And they still did. Sirius considered how much whiskey he had left. Not enough. Definitely not enough. "Halloween 1982. That's when Lily and James were murdered by Voldemort."
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"It's not my side. I was trying to ... to go back. I wanted to stop him."
He knew Sirius couldn't have known, how could he? But he felt now more than ever, he had to further himself from Voldemort. "I failed, obviously. I'm sorry. I tried."
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And wasn't that a great honour.
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The arm around him was heavy but comforting. Not that he'd admit it. It felt odd to have contact, he would never get used to it. "What mistakes could you have made? You were always perfect." Frustratingly so.
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He had been so very clever. "I told James and Lily to make Peter secretkeeper. I reckoned they'd all think it was me. Go after me. I could handle it, right? Anything to keep them safe."
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Sirius' horrifyingly dangerous plan aside, it really was hard to think what he had done wrong. He could think of a million ways Peter fucked up.
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Sirius laughed, because he couldn't help it. Whenever he got to that point, it was all he could do. "They caught me, sentenced me. Didn't get a trial. Everyone thought I was secret keeper."
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He was alive, he was with the dark lord and Regulus was going to have his head. He would discuss it with Barty first chance he got. He didn't even want to think about the suffering Sirius must have been through. "Explains why you look so shattered."
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He shrugged. "At least I got Harry a Firebolt. Most beautiful broom I've ever seen, you heard of it yet?"
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"I can hardly walk the streets. He'd kill me, wouldn't he?" Just his luck. He shrugged a little and looked away. "Just wanted to come and check in on this place, you know? See if it was still standing." And check to make sure his big bro was okay.
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"I can't stay. There's someone I need to be with." He couldn't abandon Barty, not after everything. "I've probably caused enough worry coming." Still, at least now he knew. Though part of him wished he didn't. "I don't think I could do much good anyway. Last time I tried, I died."
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Sirius frowned, realising he should have really thought about this sooner. "Reg... How are you back? Who did this?"
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It wasn't like he could just join the inner circle. It wasn't like there would be a million questions. Looking at his brother, he met his eyes and looked desperate. "Please tell no one I'm alive. Brother, please?"
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Not that he was about to say Snape's name, but he wouldn't just leave that out either. "You being alive means that this place is compromised. If you don't join us. If you don't let me know who you are allied with."
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This place was just one big reminder of their trauma. "I wouldn't join with him. I died to stop him. Can't you just trust me this once?"
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Because he wasn't sure if he'd get a chance again. Looking at Sirius, he swiftly got to his feet and then held out his hand. "My wand, please." He would keep what he knew to himself and just deal with the consequences. Hopefully Barty wasn't going to be too pissed off at him. "I won't be coming back." It seemed too difficult.
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