hogwrites | Raising Harry

"Let me tell you something, Harry. Your family, the Dursley's? They are the worst. We have that in common, my family was terrible too. But your parents, they were brilliant. They were brave, brilliant and they loved you so, so much. I was their friend. Their best friend." For better or for worse. For the worst, really. But now he had to live up to it, after every mistake he had made. "They asked me, when you were born, that I should take care of you if anything happened to them. And I promised. I couldn't do it sooner, but now I'm here. And we'll have a brilliant time together, yeah?"

He hugged him close. "We'll have so much fun! At the sea and in the house. Everywhere. I'll teach you how to fly on a broom. Your father was really good at that, he loved it."

"He was?" Woah. His father was a wizard. This was all so strange, could it really be true? He didn't think he could ever be that special. Dudley was the special one, after all. Not him. Never him. He didn't even have his own clothes - nothing he owned fit him and it all had Dudley's signs of wear and tear all over it. "I don't my parents well, they wouldn't show me a picture. They died in a car crash."

He knew that much. That was about it. He raised his hand and touched his scar. "I'm sorry." He didn't know why, he just felt like he was at fault. He was usually at fault. His parents died and he lived so he probably did something wrong.

"What?!" Sirius said it a bit too loud and then he hushed himself. Of course Harry didn't know the truth. But a car crash? "Lily and James... Your parents, Harry. They didn't die in a car crash. They died being brave. Protecting you. And you, my darling boy, you have nothing to be sorry for. Ever. You haven't done anything to be sorry for in all your life. Trust me."

He hugged Harry tighter for a few moments, taking a deep breath. "This is a lot all at once, I know. I'm the one who is sorry." He laughed. "For so many reasons. But also... See, my family was all wizards and witches. So I don't know what it's like not to know. But I can tell you and then you'll see. When you were born, Harry, there was a bad, evil wizard. We call him the Dark Lord. Or You Know Who. No one wants to say his name. Your parents and I and some others, we were fighting against him."

"So my dad was a wizard then?... Are they Lily and James? Those are nice names. I like James." He wished he was a James. He felt like it'd be better than Harry. Vernon said it was a common name, not one he'd have picked for anyone. He didn't think it was such a rotten name - his parents gifted it to him, after all. It was special. "Were they killed by the bad man?"

The Dark Lord? It sounded scary. He didn't know what he felt. He leaned back against Sirius and tried not to overthink it. His parents were very brave, they saved him so the bad man had to be gone, didn't he? "Did they kill him too?"

"Lily and James, yes. They were both very powerful wizards and they were the best people. Your full name, actually, it's Harry James Potter. That's a strong name. You'll be a strong wizard too, I can tell." Sirius smiled down at him, glad that he didn't exactly have a road to watch up here.

"The bad man killed them, yeah. And then he wanted to kill you, but he couldn't. Something about you stopped him. You defeated him. You were still a baby, but you already saved everyone else from the bad man." How did he even begin to explain that? "He aimed a curse at you, but it fired back at you. That's where you got that scar from. It's a symbol of how amazing you are, Harry."

"But... I'm not that special." He couldn't have done that. He raised his hand and touched his scar, not sure how to feel. He wished his mom was alive so he could have some hugs, mostly. It was nice to know he wasn't entirely useless but it seemed like a lot to comprehend and his tiny mind couldn't even process it.

Biting his lower lip, he looked down at the clouds and shivered a little. It was getting colder when they got closer to the clouds. "Why didn't you come and get me?" It seemed odd that he waited this long. "You were in jail like a bad man... what did you do?" Did he hurt his parents?

"It's really, really complicated." Sirius didn't even know where to start. But he noticed the boy shivering and he didn't hesitate. He had to be careful about it, keeping the handle steady with his foot at one point, so he could always keep one arm around Harry and get out of his jacket. But in the end, he could put the jacket on Harry, even if it was too big on him. Still, he zipped it up for him and then leaned down, hugging him close and, after a moment's hesitation, kissing his cheek.

"I need you to understand and believe some things first, yeah? I was there the day you were born. I held you when you were given your name. I've always, always loved you, like you were my own son. All right? I love you so, so much, Harry. I'd do anything for you. Can you believe that? Please."

"I can believe that." He really, really wanted to believe it and besides, he hadn't done anything to him yet. Maybe he was protecting his parents and got caught. It could happen. Feeling protected and taken care of was a new feeling but he was not willing to give the dream up just because circumstances could be confusing. He wriggled a little further into the jacket and smelled the scent that lingered on it - the jacket smelled like a dad's jacket. All like a proper adult and all.

Aftershave and a bit smokey. He liked it a lot. "Will you take care of me now then? I don't really want to go back."

"I will take care of you," Sirius promised, still holding him close, "And I promise, I look less scary when I've washed my hair and all. I was in such a hurry to get you."

That much was for sure. Sirius might have started on another round of explaining, but as they made their way through the clouds and he looked down, he smiled. "I think we're getting close."

He stirred the motorcycle, gently lowering them. The place looked pretty quaint. Definitely muggle, which was a positive in this case. He got even closer, then gestured. "I think there's a pizzeria down there. Do you like pizza, Harry?"

"I've never had it." So he wasn't entirely sure but it did smell nice. "Actually, no, I had one of those fifty pence ones from ASDA for my birthday last year." He had a small little pizza that wasn't the best but it was pretty good and a little can of off-brand coke. It was a pretty nice birthday actually, best he'd had in years. "The little one I had wasn't very nice but Dudley told me I got the gross one."

Harry smiled regardless. He didn't like to complain. Complaints were never good. "Is it good?"

"It's bleeding brilliant, Harry. Now be quiet, let me show you a trick." Sirius cast a spell to mute the motor of his machine, then he took a deep dive. They were almost down to street level and yet, it seemed as if no one could notice them. His charms were clearly working, good to know.

Sirius looked in through the huge window that lit the way into the pizzeria. He looked at the oven, looked at the pizzas being made. And he watched as two of them were just now, ever so luckily, put into boxes. It only took a spell to vanish the window, another to accio the boxes right over to them and then he let the window reappear and put the boxes into Harry's arms. "You hold on to these, yeah?"

That said he took them back high up, whooping again. "You know what we say now, mate? Mischief managed!"

"Mischief managed?" Harry copied tentatively, smiling as he looked down at the pizza. It was hot, warm and half the size of him! He had seen these before for that one year Dudley had a pizza party. It smelled so good, his stomach gurgled already. Blushing, he ducked his head and hoped Sirius didn't tease him.

Sirius was so strange, he was like a dream. He could do anything. Literally anything. He was magical, he had a motorbike and he felt so strong too.

And he knew his mom and dad! "Did my dad like pizza?"

"Yeah, he loved it. When he was young, one summer, he went to Italy. That's the country where pizza's from, it's shaped like a boot. Funny looking. And he said there were lots of pretty girls there, but none as pretty as your mother. Always adored your mother, he did."

Sirius zeroed in on the house that was a little removed from the others, up a small hill. It looked abandoned and like nothing much, but of course it would. Muggle protection. Sirius landed, setting the bike down in the driveway. "Here we are."

There was a garden, a fence all around it. Overgrown with bushes. The house really wasn't much to look at. "Home, sweet home."

Harry didn't like to be a burden, he didn't want to give the nice adult extra work. Vernon always said he annoyed everyone when he acted so helpless, he had to grow up fast and stop being a burden. So he tried to get off the bike himself, attempting to copy Sirius because he just slid off the bike all cool like.

And Harry tried to do that in Sirius' all too big coat and, hence, no arms to stabilise himself.

He just straight up fell off the bike and onto the floor. Ow. He tumbled. Looking concerned, he looked up at Sirius with panic. "I'm sorry!" Did he get his coat dirty? Oh no. His dad probably never fell over like this. He was being bad.

"I would have helped you down!" Sirius hurried to crouch down next to Harry, reaching for the pizza with one hand and using the other to pull him close, concern plain on his face. "Did you hurt yourself, Harry?"

Damn, he was doing a bang up job of taking care of him already, wasn't he? "Do you need me to carry you?"

Honestly, he didn't really have much reference for just how small a child this small child was.

"I dropped the food. Are you mad?" It didn't open but it did fell so it probably got all thrown around. He was always making a mess and Sirius had yelled. Not intentionally but he raised his voice so now Harry was in a panic because he didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to concerned yells.

"I didn't hurt myself."

He didn't know if he did or he didn't but he wasn't about to admit to it. He was far too embarrassed and ashamed. "I'm really, really sorry. I won't do it again."

"Oh no... Shh, darling boy. Harry, it's all right. Don't be sorry, it's not your fault, it's mine, yeah?" Sirius saw the look on Harry's face, reminded of Regulus in a sudden, unexpected and painful way. He pulled him up in his arm and then gathered him against his chest. Pressing a kiss to the top of his head, he lifted him up off the ground. A wave of his wand made sure the pizza boxes were floating behind them and he headed for the door. He really wanted to be in the warmth.

The door opened for him. He was the owner of the house, after all. Inside, the hall was mostly wooden, a staircase led up to the next level and otherwise the place looked a lot homier already, even if it was clearly old and a bit dusty. But it was warm. Magic had its uses.

"I'm not mad at you." Sirius looked at Harry, hoping he would reach him. "I love you, remember? You didn't mean to do anything bad and you didn't do anything bad. Now smile for me, okay? We should make ourselves at home."

From the outside, this place looked a lot smaller, that much was for sure.

Sirius spoke in such a sweet way and held him so tightly. It was hard not to feel safe with him. No one ever treated him like this before, he didn't know this kind of love. He nodded his head and then pressed his face against Sirius' neck. It was warm and comfortable, nice to hide in. He wanted to stay like it but he knew he owed Sirius a smile.

Pulling back a little, he shyly smiled and raised his hand to adjust his glasses. They were covered in tape and falling apart but glasses were far too expensive.

It was his fault for breaking them. Even if Dudley did it. "Is this really home?" He looked about the really big house and then eyed up the cupboard, curiously wondering if he was going to be going in there or not. "Do I get a room?"

"Sure! There's loads of rooms. We gotta explore everything together, I've never been here before." Sirius drew his wand, using it to turn the lights on. And then, with another spell, he at least got rid of the worst of dust. "Living room is through here. Let's just sit and eat for now, huh? I'm so hungry."

Eating had not been a priority up until now. He let himself fall down on the sofa and used his wand to make the pizza boxes land on the little side table. "Wanna check what kinda pizza we got, Harry?"

He opened the first box, very pleased to discover the pizza was cut already. "That's pepperoni! Everyone likes that." He reached for the first slice and held it out to Harry. "Take a bite. But be careful, it's still hot."

Harry opened his mouth and eagerly took a bite, giggling because it was such a fun way to eat. Usually he had to use a knife and fork, if he even got food at all, and he wasn't used to such interactive food. He could play with it! The cheese was stretchy. With a grin, he slid closer to Sirius and watched him take a bite, curious about everything.

Mostly how Sirius looked. He didn't look so good but he did when he smiled. He looked kind of sleepy and his hair was dirty but when he smiled, he light up and made Harry feel safe.

"I like your smile." Was that a dumb thing to say? He wasn't sure. He swung his legs back and forth as he smiled happily at Sirius. "You look nice when you smile."

"Yeah?" Sirius laughed, taking a bite of pizza himself and then holding it out for Harry again, to take the next one. The feeding thing seemed to amuse him, he liked it too, so why not? It felt good to share something with Harry. It felt really good to see him smile. "When I was young, your father said that I have a smile that lights up the world. Quite the romantic, your old man."

He laughed again, reaching for the second slice of pizza, while he left Harry to nibble on the crust of the first. "I really like your smile too. You look so much like your father, did you know that?"

"My aunt said I look more like him than my mom. I like being like my dad, he sounds cool." He was a magician and he could do awesome things. Besides, he had the coolest friends and he seemed well liked. Harry nibbled away at the crust as he wondered if Sirius missed his dad a lot and if that's why he came for him. He looked like James and he was a bit like him cause he was his little boy so he could be his friend too!

"My dad was right, you light up when you smile. You look less tired." He smiled innocent as he went back to nibbling, watching the strange new man as he did.

"I'll look better in a bit, after I've washed. And maybe after tonight, if I get enough sleep." Cute boy. Boy who had no idea of the world, but was so sweet and gentle. Even though he'd been treated so cruelly. "You have your mother's eyes," he told him, smiling softly. "You look a lot like both of them. And they were both brilliant. They'd be so, so proud of you."

He was sure of it. Sirius kept eating, feeding Harry whenever he was ready, but mostly eager to get food in himself too. He had been running on very little energy, adrenaline more than anything. "You get your own room with your own bed. You can pick the room, I'll pick one right next to it. Then you can come and wake me up if you need anything."

"You can pick first if you want." He didn't want to accidentally pick the wrong room so he tried to offer the option to Sirius so he could pick his own first. Just in case. He was nibbling on yet another crust, shuffling slowly down the couch during pizza time. He had gone from a cushion over to right next to Sirius, their legs touching. It was nice. He liked to be close to Sirius, he gave good hugs.

"I won't bother you in the night either. I see well." Mostly. He tried to. And if anything went wrong, he fixed it. He was good at that. "If you want to come and wake me up for anything, you can too. I can make breakfast."

"...you can make breakfast?" Sirius blinked. "But you are tiny!" Was that an insult to the boy? He didn't mean for that, but... Well. He was tiny! He frowned, running a hand through Harry's hair again, smoothing it down a little. Of course it wouldn't stay down. So much James' son. "You don't have to make breakfast. I'll take care of that."

Somehow. He didn't know how yet. "I don't always sleep so well, you know? I get nightmares a lot."

Raising Harry

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