"You're my only spark of goodness in the world and I can't even keep you." So what did he even do? He wanted to badly to stay with Sirius but he knew what he wanted and to abandon it all? It felt too much. Too difficult. He had to choose between Sirius and the Dark Lord - and it wasn't an easy choice. He hadn't committed yet, he hadn't had his mark but he feared the time would come. He closed his eyes and leaned into Sirius, taking a sharp inhale and exhale. "I don't want to drive you away."